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Pinned Tweet
UN Condemns Hamas For Lack Of Handrails
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Breaking: Hamas Says No To Ceasefire, Demands Ceasefire
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@AvivaKlompas
@Columbia
There is a rumor that starting tomorrow, Columbia will be experimenting with a new system where faculty teach, students attend classes
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Columbia To Create New Concentration Campus Just For Jews To Help Them Feel Safe
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"Actually Oil Spills Are OK Now" Say Environmental Groups After Hearing Of One That Hurts Israel
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Activists Suggest Jews Avoid Antisemitism By Refraining From Expressing Their Faith, Language, History, Culture, Or Any Ounce Of Self-Determination, OK?
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"We unequivocally condemn Hamas for using aid supplies to construct terror tunnels without adequate handrails. The health, safety, and human rights of the terrorists who live and work within these tunnels is compromised by this wilful and illegal omission. Someone might fall and
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Breaking: Hamas Rejects 4,754th Consecutive Ceasefire Deal
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Group Accusing Israel Of Being Ethnostate Just Sort Of Ignores 22 Surrounding Ethnostates
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Gaza Activist Known As 'The Storyteller' Has To Come Up With a Good One To Explain What She Did With $400K In Donations
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Celebrities Sporting Red Hand Ceasefire Pin Just Going To Quickly Look Up Origin Of Symbol And..... Oh Dear Lord!
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Organization Which Seemingly Had No Problem Calculating Precise Casualty Count Having Trouble With List Of 100 Names
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NEW YORK - After initial attempts failed at having Jews stay only in the student ghetto, these new special areas have been touted as an ideal solution to the Jewish question of antisemitism on campus
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UN Reports Proof Of Sexual Violence Was In Spam Folder For 150 Days
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Blogger Begins Hummus Recipe With 87 Paragraphs About How Jews Stole It From The Palestinians
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Member Of Jewish Voice For Peace Excited To Dress Up As Actual Jewish Person This Purim
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As of press time they are reportedly considering ending her occupation
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Anti-Israel Protestors Block Other Anti-Israel Protestors From Protesting Anti-Israel Protest
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Hamas' Work-From-Tunnel Policy Absolutely Ruining Office Culture
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Anti-Israel Student Groups Sick And Tired Of Shai Davidai Misrepresenting Their Zumba Classes As Violent
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Fans Wearing Shirts Reading "Please Don't Kill Jews" Ejected From Stadium For Prohibited Political Speech
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Moon Committing Genocide On Sun, Say Pro-Hamas Supporters
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Iran, Lebanon Celebrate International Women's Day By... You Know What Let's Just Skip This One As Well
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Ceasefire Protestors Congratulate One Another For Another Successful Day Of Pretending Hostages Don't Exist
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Arab World Demands Ceasefire So They Can Go Back To Not Caring About Palestinians Again
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Al-Aqsa Mosque Pretty Thankful For Iron Dome Right Now, All Things Considered
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UNRWA Unsure It Going To Be Able To Pay Its Rocket Suppliers At All This Month
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Not only are they not an actual Jewish organization, JVP could not even find ONE actual Jew to tell them that their Hebrew was backwards
#jvp
#jewishvoiceforpeace
#Columbia
#passover
#seder
#hebrew
#Israel
#middleeast
#palestine
#protest
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Jewish Activists Outraged Jewishness Being Used To Justify Jewish Resistance To Crimes Against Jews
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Israeli negotiators have reportedly responded with: "Bro, what?"
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Columbia Protestor Interrupts Explanation Of Why Antizionism Not The Same Thing As Antisemitism To Quickly Go Kick Jewish Student In Stomach
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Israelis Confirm They Would Stop Doing Everything Necessary To Retrieve Hostages If Only They Had Elections
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Rabbis Say To Drink So Much On Purim That You Can't Tell The Difference Between "Hamas" And "People Who Aren't Antisemitic, I'm Just Antizionist, It's Not The Same Thing!"
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Hamas Space Program Shooting For Manned Moon Mission By 2026
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Breaking: 'October Rain' Banned From Eurovision as Too Political, To Be Replaced With Fresh Icelandic Ballad: 'We Hate Israel For Political Reasons'
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Whoa! Jews Didn't Realize Your Antisemitism Is Actually The Fault Of Israel! Thanks For Clearing That Up.
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"We still love you, just in more of a Dhimmi sort of way"
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Worldwide Facebook, Instagram Outage Leaves People With No Option Whatsoever To Communicate Via The Internet. No Website At All Where That Is Still Possible. Not Even One.
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Qatar Threatens Hamas With No Nintendo Time Before Bed If They Don't Agree To Hostage Release
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Haaaave you considered maybe 'equality for women' first?
Priorities.
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In a developing story UN Special Representative Primella Patton has issued the following statement,
"Sorry, so sorry, just getting to this now. Actually it went to my spam folder so I didn't see it til today, 150 days after terrorist group Hamas conducted a massacre against
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Drag Queens For Palestine To Debut New "Getting Dragged Through Streets Of Gaza By Angry Mob" Act
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Breaking: Columbia University Scientists Determine NYC Earthquake Actually Israel's Fault
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Breaking: Iran Drones Determined To Just Contain Flags That Say "BANG" On Them
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Consumer Report: Gazans Super Stoked That New BDS Soft Drink Will Solve aaaaalll Their Problems
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"We unequivocally demand an immediate Ham on Rye with all the fix'n's. Actually except for mayo, that hurts our little-wittle tummy-wummy. Also you have to cut off the crust that's how our mommy makes it. With immediate effect. No cucumbers. Thank youuuuu."
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I miss the days when a catastrophic submersible implosion in the black depths of the abyss was the most disconcerting news story
#news
#satire
#satirenews
#parody
#parodynews
#Israel
#palestine
#currentevents
#middleeast
#geopolitics
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"I Just Want To Ensure The Next Generation Has The Same Opportunities That I Did", Says Director of Holocaust Movie
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Several Hamas sources, speaking to us on the condition of anonymity, have been voicing a growing dissatisfaction with the terror group's new "Work From Tunnel" policy.
"It was a lot better during the pandemic when we were allowed to do 'Work From Hospital', 'Work From Children's
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Weird! These Jews Asked Yemen, Iran, And Morocco If They'd Be Allowed To Return To Their Ancestral Villages In Those Countries And Were All Turned Down!
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Israel Flattered To Be Held To Higher Standard Than Every Country In History Of World But Finding It A Bit Difficult, To Be Honest
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Mother Of New James Bond Actor Receives Licence To Kvell
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Columbia Experiments With Requests That Faculty Teach, Students Attend Classes
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@TheMossadIL
It was clearly designed by the Greatest Of All Time Surveyor of Entrances. Got his fingerprints all over it.
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Man Whose Favorite Movies are 'Taken' and 'John Wick' Can't Understand What Israel So Mad About
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PA and AP Partnering On New "Pay-For-Slay" Photography Program
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LA Highways To Be Closed For OJ Simpson Funeral Procession
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Antisemites Celebrate 100 Days of Finally Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud
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Embedded Sources Confirm The White Horseradish The Hot One This Year
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When asked for comment, activist leaders responded saying, "We didn't mean ceasefire NOW now, we meant like later now."
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Report: Misuse Of UNRWA Funding First Suspected After Hamas Fighters Began Sporting Louis Vuitton Katyusha Rockets
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Man Who Gambled Away Kids' College Tuition Celebrated After Saying He Did It For Palestine
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US Proposes Letting Hamas Rule The Country On Weekends Plus Every Other Thursday
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"Google Translate has given me a deep love for Hebrew culture. Please don't boycott my album"
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JVP Decolonized Haggadah Has Jews Freed From Egypt Escaping To Minneapolis
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Breaking: Hamas Proposes Compromise Hostage Exchange In Which Israel Gives Them New Hostages To Replace Their Existing Ones
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Passover Day 2: As a Result Of Rising Inflation, Ten Plagues Increased To 14
They are, in order:
11. Plague of ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
12. Plague of someone grabbing your hand and hitting you with it and saying "stop hitting yourself"
13. Just cats
14.
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Israel Issues Brief But Pointed Critique Of Iranian Foreign Policy
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"Noooo you don't understand they're not ethnostates it's just that non-Arabs don't want to live there anymore!"
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"Hey if you could just not fire explosive drones at the mosque you used as an excuse to start this war to begin with that'd be greeeeat"
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Rabbis Say Four Cups Of Wine This Passover Can Be Replaced With Single Stanley Tumbler
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Israel Replaces Official Spokesperson With Literal Bucket Of Hummus
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In an early-morning kerfuffle, several different Anti-Israel protest factions were seen to protest one another on the streets of New York, causing traffic chaos and general confusion amongst passers-by.
"I really don't understand what they're doing at this point, they seemed to
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New York Earthquake Actually Just Qatar's Latest Donation To Columbia University
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Chinese Government Opens Dropbox Folder For Americans To Just Directly Submit Private Data After TikTok Ban
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Journalist Reporting On 5-Million Percent Increase In Antisemitism Makes Sure To Mention Islamophobia Too
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Commuters Turn Around And Drive Straight To Keffiyeh Store After Protest Closes Highway
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Everest Palestine Encampment Demands Oxygen Deliveries
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Congress Orders Columbia University Evacuated, 100 Year Exclusion Zone To Be Established
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