Dick Cavett
@TheDickCavett
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Dick Cavett has been nominated for thirteen Emmy awards, and won three. Spanning five decades, his television career defined excellence in the interview format.
New York, NY
Joined September 2012
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I will find a job for any Rockette dismissed because she would prefer not to have her anatomy leered at by a Predatory Pres.-elect.
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Don't let anyone or anything cause you to miss reading Dwight Garner's priceless review of Jared Kushner's new book, 'Breaking History' (sic). Today's New York Times, (Aug. 17) You'll see what I mean.
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What contrast! The majestic spectacle of the world marches contrasted with that cowardly little pissant press conference. We're in for it.
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If Trump were not president, would Heather Heyer be alive today?
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Surely grammar is the least of your worries, Donald, but you can't feel "badly" as you keep saying you feel about Manifort and Cohen. You feel "BAD." Period.
If you're manually clumsy you could feel, say, a woman's body clumsily. You would then be "feeling badly."
Get it?
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Geraldo Rivera defending and praising Trump's documents behavior! When did my once friend and somewhat protege go so wrong? Can someone explain?
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A: "Imagine Donald Trump's library."
B: "You'd have to."
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If the bigot Sessions is confirmed tomorrow, the notch the U. S. will slip will register on the Harvard seismograph.
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Interesting rumor in the theater world: that Kavanaugh is quietly suing a well-known ACTING teacher who had promised she could make him look truthful.
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Shouldn't we go a little easier on Donald Trump? After all, so far he has killed only one child.
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Overheard on the subway, mind you.
"How does a man without a single appealing human trait become the most powerful man in the world?
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Mort Sahl gone. One of the true greats. A redwood fallen.
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Go easy on the president. This is the week he sets aside to mourn the deaths of the 14 brave Americans killed in WWII.
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If I need to vomit, all I require is one look at a picture of the wretched Trump brothers in their expensive hunting outfits, standing over a pile of exotic animals they have just murdered, The brothers and the corpses combine to make the perfect emetic.
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Tucker Carlson! That freak of nature. A human specimen that relieves its bowels, orally.
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Seriously, what in psychology, is the OFFICIAL term for the psycho-neurotic obsession with women's blood? Other than 'Trumposis'.
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Will “Suds” Kavanaugh’s petulant, half-demented, blubbery display be rewarded with a Supreme Court seat? “It takes all kinds,” we’re told. But the Court doesn’t. It’s been fine without a venomous, partisan, keg-chugging, pants-on- fire predator of women (a Trump favorite).
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How ashamed should I feel about getting a warm feeling from Mike Lindell's troubles
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I was a faithful Sunday School-goer and have even gone to church. The Tyre Nichols horror has strengthened my eye-for-an-eye belief. There is no forgiveness in me. I can't wait to see those police head-kickers suffer mightily for their atrocities.
Am I a bad person?
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Will someone tell me why they keep saying: A FREE GIFT.
Aren't all gifts free? Help.
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So Trump dreams of sitting atop his wall, thumbing his nose at his enemies.
A gust of wind, he is toppled, and a new children's book is born.
"Humpty Dumpty Trumpty Had a Great Fall".
Maybe some nice child would read it to him, helping with the hard words.
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Can't get enough of that phrase "Trump's base."
He certainly is.
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Are you, or someone you know, suffering grief? Mourning?
I asked an eminent psychiatrist for good books on grief. He named only one: "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis. about the death of his wife. People I've told about it have expressed great relief and deep gratitude.
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So long, Jerry. You made me howl with laughter. And you paid me to write for you, proving you REALLY had a zany streak. Miss ya, man, bad.
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A splendid collection of pieces by the incomparable Woody Allen is out. It's a tribute to Allen's skills that he has continued to produce such high quality artistry, despite those lowlifes still determined to lay him low. Get it for a dose of joy. It's called: "Zero Gravity"
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Strange how Trump came onstage a head taller than Putin. And left it a pygmy.
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Such terrible news. Scientists are saying we will never, EVER see the last of the horrible virus. Nor, even worse, of "The 'My Pillow' Man."
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Hey, go a little easy on Trump. He's a fast accomplisher.
Let;s see YOU remove all dignity from the presidency in so few days.
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How do we get people to avoid crowds?
How about a long series of Trump inaugurations?
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Good that at the rally temperatures will be taken before entering. Will I.Q.s?
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What do you make of the people who seem to love Trump more and more the worse everything gets? Why is that? Do those folks have no access to television, radio, newspapers, magazines?? Please explain to me. It's making me nuts.
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Much excitement here on Eastern Long Island. Beaches crowded with onlookers.
Trump's "armada" just went by, looking for Korea.
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Deepest apologies to those who pointed out that I left out one of the letter 'i's in Giuliani's name. But isn't the less there is of Giuliani the better?
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"Little Adam Schiff", eh, Trump?
Didn't your mom teach you it's not nice to deride people's physical features? Didn't she, Tubby?
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Friend C. Roos, anagram fan, submits today's perfect specimen.
shithole = his hotel
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Woody Allen's marvelous book, 'Apropos of Nothing' is a smashing good read. Why not? A major American author and genius humorist, great anecdotes, fine wit, self-analysis, priceless insults and countless out-loud laughs. Perfect for our grim nowadays. Treat yourself. Get it.
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Not all news is bad. NRA's Wayne LaPierre's big, big problems make me grin with delight.
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So Gohmert caught the virus by wearing a mask.
Did he ever get a lady pregnant by using a condom?
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A merciful, Trump-free tweet. That TV shingles ad. "One out of 3 people get shingles in their lifetime." When else would they get them?
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It's only a matter of time before some joker tricks up a fake tombstone -- or someone cartoons:
"Here Lies Donald Trump. As Usual"
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I had missed "Jeff Sessions, the Grim Reaper of Alabama" NYTimes. Jan 8
See what a slime Trump wants for A.G. Take a drink first.
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That armed man who stayed outside the school The one Trump called "a coward. Maybe he suddenly developed heel spurs.
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There once was a fellow named Flynn.
(The one you have never seen grin.)
They say without fail
He'll land up in jail
New meaning for "I'm in like Flynn".
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Is it sacrilege to say, although Will Rogers was a great wit, that his "I never met a man I didn't like." is a tough one. Had he never left the house?
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Anyone having the same trouble I am, trying to remember voting for President Bannon?
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On the news, young male college student is cheerfully happy to be going back into classrooms, still likes going to bars, and has "decided this whole virus thing is a hoax."
Didn't it once require at least a partial brain to get into college?
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That explosive new book and Trump. Will it be a badge of honor to be chosen as the one to read it to him?
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Our draft-dodger president's foul words about those who serve stink to high heaven. Anyone surprised?
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I know it sounds silly, but why does Pence seem to resemble a large clothespin?
And about as interesting.
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Which is the better man? (pick one)
John McCain -- 6 heroic years in prison.
Donald Trump --heel spurs.
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Wow! Supposedly blasé, sophisticated New Yorkers are goofy with delight over our rare, rare visitor, the Snowy owl in Central Park. This white owl has great spiritual significance. For God's sake, let's hide it before Marjorie Taylor Greene has a chance to shoot it.
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Feeling sorry for those sad about the loss of my show on DECADES.
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Oh, Samantha Bee, Amy Schumer, Lily Tomlin, SOMEBODY do a one-women show called AN EVENING WITHOUT KELLYANNE. Sure to outsell "Hamilton.":
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Is there a technical term, perhaps in abnormal psychology, for a condition in which a limited world leader's proximity to any murderous dictator produces a strong, gratifying. and irresistible tingling of the scrotum? Just wondering.
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Our Donald, awkwardly man-handling that Bible, seems to be saying, "And what am I bid for this..um..unusual object?
"
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Help. Former joke-writer can't work out wording for how one can be a top-notch surgeon of the brain without evidence of possessing one.
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The Trump appetite for destruction expands now from doing it to the country to doing it to the whole planet.
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Had the fun of a chicken "wishbone" the other day for the first time in years. Shades of Sunday dinner at Grandma Richards's house when it was always, "Let Dickie have the wishbone." My new wish? It's about Betsy DeVos. And a well-aimed custard pie.
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K. Conway. Love your saying they're trying to invalidate a presidency only one day old. Didn't your boss do that to Obama. For 2 years?
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Marjorie Taylor Greene must go. She's giving stupidity a bad name.
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Hey, c'mon. Give poor Rudy a break. He's aged and probably
drips from a variety of places.
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How rude of our alleged president. What an insult to his 'base' to assume they are pin-headed enough to believe we have 'turned the corner.'
If we have thanks to him, tragically we've turned that corner in the wrong direction.
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Why do I keep thinking of Capt. Queeg, hand-rolling his ball-bearings as he grew increasingly loony in "The Caine Mutiny" What can it be?
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Need medical opinion. Can heel spurs move to the brain?
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Trump said in 2017 , on the subject of torture, "I happen to feel that it works."
It seems he is correct. But does he have to test if on small children?
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SHAME, Mr. Pres. You must recall, with your fine education that we never feel badly, we feel 'bad'. We don't say we feel 'goodly do we?
You only 'feel' badly] if, say, you paw a woman unskillfully.
But what would you know about that?
'
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Wonderful how DeSantis's cruel and heartless stunt was spoiled by the demonstration by the Martha's Vineyard folk who, to DeSantis's chagrin, responded with a show of genuine, welcoming humanity - a word DeSantis may have to look up.
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What next? Trump says the Niagara of harsh attacks he's getting over his cowardly, unpatriotic performance with his friend Puty is just another case of "fake news." Gosh, It sure looked real on my TV.
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Would someone please encourage me to SKIP today's
daily exhibition of Trump's remedial reading?
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Love that baby giraffe. Adorable. And still way too young for the Trump brothers to shoot
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A friend works for the company that turns out those scary monster masks: Frankenstein, Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Mummy, Richard Nixon, etc. He says they're torn between which mask to turn out next to scare the kiddies: Steve Bannon or a Catholic priest.
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MOTHERS IN A NEW MEXICO PRISON DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FIND THEIR CHILDREN. (The New Yorker)
Read. if you can stand to. Then try NOT to think that our alleged president should be tried for what he's done. They might have to reconvene the Nuremberg jury.
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You wonder if someone you once knew is alive or dead. If only there were a complete list of those who have departed. I deally, there would be a set of two volumes. 'WHO'S WHO' and 'WHO's THROUGH'.
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Congratulate me! I've gone 3 glorious days without seeing, hearing, or even THINKING of 'The Pillow Man'.
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Hot Dog!
Another episode of "A Man And His Teleprompter".
Another numbing demonstration of remedial reading.
Let's party!
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Trump: "I trust my gut more than I trust anyone else's brain."
Is there a size joke here?
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Paul Lynde on "H'wood Squares" if alive today..
Q:"Where did all the clowns go when "Ringling Bros." closed?
PL: Trump's legal team?
.
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Love Republicans daring enough to say Sessions should "clarify his testimony" on did he meet with Russians.
How do you clarify "No."?
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For those taking me to task for suggesting that Ivanka is a dummy, that was a complex mix-up. A mistake. It was supposed to be Mike Prence.
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Long time no posts. Been doing too much stuff and forgot. Is Trump still...you know..around? Break it to me gently.
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I'm willing to believe that Florida's Governor DeSantis went to Yale. But what as?
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Yes, Judge Kavanaugh, you CAN drink enough to not remember a SCRAP of what you did the night before.. Check out the subject of ALCOHOL BLACKOUTS if in doubt.
And pass it on to Grassley and other fellow geezers from the Anita Hill/ Clarence Thomas travesty.
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I wish I had never learned this. 7% of Americans think chocolate milk comes from brown cows. This could explain much.
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Just saw a woman who, despite the dire warnings, is going to "ride it out" because "we've done it before, And we've taped (sic) our windows and have plenty of games for the kids to play so they won't get bored."
Are the crews taught to handle mental defectives?
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I hate to say it, but there's one thing I would applaud Trump for.
Awarding Guliani a beanie with a propeller on it.
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A. says: Relax. The time will come when we'll be laughing about Trump.
B. says: I don't think time stretches that far.
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Isn' it obvious, the reason for those moving vans at the White House? They're packing Trump's books
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Is it coincidence that dear Gilbert Gottfried is on my show on DECADES tonight?
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Love Al Franken's comment on CNN's "New Day" re: Sessions' claim he dealt with no Russsians. Franken: "The Russian Ambassador is Russian."
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Saw a woman on television proudly declare, "I shall die unvaccinated!" Wanted to say, "Good chance you will. Pass it on."
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I looked up some synonyms for 'pathological lying'. One is claiming your TV show was Number One. Especially when it was 67th.
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Dear Kellyanne, Drop the crap about "You must respect the OFFFICE." The office is a thing. You must respect the MAN . Tell us how.
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Trump's pardoning of the murderous Blackwater guards is unarguably.a crime that stinks to high heaven. Even without the death of the unarmed 9-year-old boy whose head they split open. Any Trump admirer willing to defend this slaughter, please do so here.
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Never thought I'd be saying this, but maybe down deep we should feel a little sorry for Donald Trump. A touch of human sympathy for a suffering fellow human being.
But how exactly do you express sympathy for the most degenerate president in American history?
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