For some reason, I feel the need to point out that Dave Chapelle’s 8:17 performance came out just 913 days ago.

How to end the Hunter Biden BS in one step: Pres Biden agrees that all presidential family members must be above reproach and threatens to step down and let Kamala Harris take the oath. The issue disappears like GOP’s concern about email security.

When you read news about Kanye and Hershel Walker, does anyone else have vivid flashbacks to the movie #UndercoverBrother? It can’t just be me, can it!

I felt that.

Bribing my daughter $4 in book fair money to try a chicken nugget for the first time isn’t something they talked about in 10th grade health class when they covered procreation.

Anyone else uncomfortable that after billionaire assholes inflict people like Dr Oz on us, that the only solution is another billionaire???

Also, the current season of British Baking is wretched. It’s like it has no idea why people enjoyed watching it and doubled down on all the wrong things.

If you’re missing Mel and Sue British Baking Show, Roku is streaming them now, including the first two series Netflix never had.

I just don’t get it. Liberals are the creative class. We’re the poets and painters. Three quarters of any PR or ad agency is staffed with flaming liberals. So how come all left-wing marketing messages sound like fifth-grade social studies book reports?!?!?!

Reminder. You can buy Talent Chooses You on Amazon. Or you could just get it for free. I made the GDoc where it was wrote free and open source. Enjoy! https://t.co/awjpnyHvgK #TBSummit

This is pretty amazing.

Hey @cvspharmacy, thanks for cancelling my booster appointment AFTER I’d checked in and waited 20 minutes for my shot. No, I will not be rescheduling.

The #GOP isn’t going to be happy until a woman is only counted as 3/5th of a person in the census.

I am working under the assumption that the missing secret files would have explained exactly what the fuck was going on here:

I bet that if you took the exact text of the second amendment and tried to pass it as a law today, the #nra would have an absolute fit. They’d demand rioting in the streets.

Is this guy running for office in Florida or something?

What exactly do you think @tedcruz is praying for?

I want to see Biden propose eliminating #daylightsavingstime (guaranteeing a huge electoral victory) and watch republicans try and explain how crucial #DST is to protect our freedom.

I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency