Rafael Behr
@rafaelbehr
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Guardian columnist, leader writer, podcaster Book: Politics, A Survivor's Guide Out now!
Brighton
Joined June 2011
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Talking, among other things, about this
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So the Prime Minister is now telling the nation that those who stayed at home, ill and afraid, when they might have been elsewhere chose isolation because they just didn't love their family as much as Dominic Cummings loves his.
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If I had known that people would be sharing a clip of me on the telly - and I'm very glad they are - I might have ironed my shirt a bit better before going on.
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Tory leadership candidates: behold my majestic unicorn
Rory Stewart: Er, that's a donkey with a cornetto on its head.
Tory MPs: you're fired.
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Boris confirms he wants free movement and the single market. Otherwise known as "membership of the European Union."
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Trussonomics is the spliff that Brexit smoked after a long session in the pub.
Tories now having a market whitey, kneeling in front of the toilet, room spinning.
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If only there had been some sign, some hint, between 1992 and 2020 that Iain Duncan Smith doesn't really know what he is talking about when it comes to UK-EU relations.
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One thought, re: the Chequers tree house. Aside from the financing side of it. How long did he think he was going to have use of the place?
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A fundamental problem with UK-EU relationship is that all the key players who might have to place their trust in Boris Johnson have met him before.
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The war in Ukraine is a crisis that another PM could handle, and a law-abiding one might even handle better.
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On days like this I can't help imagining what might have been achieved by this country if it had brought to any other challenge the energy, time and resource spent on leaving the EU.
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Inevitably some people would rather pretend that the status of former prime minister makes Liz Truss a person of substance, when the alternative is to confront the question of how someone so insubstantial was given that office in the first place.
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Orwellian is an over-used term in political commentary, but there's a War-is-Peace vibe when welfare cuts to fund tax breaks for millionaires is advertised by the guy whose ministerial job is "levelling up".
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Big picture, Corbyn's 5-year term as leader will be remembered for:
1. Failure to have a position on Brexit
2. Antisemitism
3. Losing elections, gifting power to Boris Johnson.
That's the legacy. That's what his supporters are now fortifying their trenches to defend.
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Johnson has always imagined himself standing before the nation projecting, in full Churchillian voice, dynamism, urgency, reassurance. Rousing and healing. It's the dream role he cast for himself. And by extraordinary twist of fate, the moment comes, the stage is all his ...1/2
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Team Sunak briefing is priceless. "Man of honour" ... "Feels very badly let down by being dragged into this."
How noble then that he should decide, on consultation of his honour, to continue as Chancellor, serving the man who badly let him down by dragging him into this.
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Theresa May's Brexit strategy increasingly reminds me of people with massive debts who just stop opening their post.
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The PM appears to be launching his election bid literally from the back of a chauffeur-driven car.
Is it possible they are not actually very good at this?
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I am not yet persuaded by the argument that people who want Britain to remain in the EU should vote for a Labour party whose policy is to leave the EU.
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UK gov: we do not need boring EU trade. We have *industries of the future*, behold hyper-modern global Britain.
Also: to legislate we will make MPs stand in a 1km-long queue because, er, computers are the devil's work.
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I suspect part of the problem here is that the final stages of closing his deal require various people to trust Boris Johnson, and too many of them have actually met him.
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The next Schmeichel in the dynasty should definitely be called Michael, so he sounds like an unimpressed Jewish grandmother.
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So a bunch of cabinet ministers told Johnson to resign. He didn't. And they carry on as cabinet ministers.
We're really stress-testing the informal guard rails around executive power in British democracy now.
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Fear for what comes when Brexiters have to blame someone for their failure to deliver what they have promised. Sure won't blame themselves.
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The more I think* about it, the worse the "..but Ukraine" war defence gets.
It is Ukrainians fighting and dying.
Arrogating the horror of that struggle to confect war-leader credentials in order to dig crooked liar Johnson out of a hole is actually despicable.
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And he can't do it. The light is on him, the audience is hushed and he's fluffing his lines. It's almost horrible to witness ...
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As I have said, I think, before. Mogg only cares about parliament as a stage on which costume-drama simulations of democracy are performed. When there was a majority against him, he had no qualms about shutting the whole place down.
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I remember when a lively day in politics consisted of the Chancellor misjudging reaction to a VAT increase on hot takeaway food.
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It is fascinating. These eurosceptic-libertarian ultras have been so reliant on feeling betrayed to avoid accountability for their crackpot ideas. In Truss they accidentally got what they wanted - she let them down by not letting them down - and they have nowhere to hide.
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Can't help thinking - aside from the Hancock/sleaze story - there are security implications when CCTV footage from *inside a Secretary of State's office* finds its way to a national newspaper.
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'We shot ourselves in the foot, then amputated the wrong leg. But now we promise a professional surgical intervention to save the patient. Oh, and by the way, we can't afford anaesthetic.'
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This use of 'unelected' as a way to discredit any authority is getting out of hand. These people have no understanding of what civil society is and how important it is to democracy.
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In which I learn not to let the toxin of British politics get under my skin ... the hard way. (Work in progress.)
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My linguistic treat for the morning: I see that French word for curfew is "couvre-feu" (as in covers the fire) and see therein the etymology of our word, via middle-english from old french ... cur-few.
Fascinating things, languages.
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Column: When Ukraine reaches out to "Europe" it is invoking an idea that a generation of British politicians has treated with denial and derision. That will now have to change.
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And to those who, as a result of sharing my words, have found themselves sprayed in venomous Corbynite reaction, I'm really sorry.
It seems a section of the left wanted to vindicate the short passage in the piece describing their toxicity by faithfully reenacting it.
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They got Brexit. They took back control of the borders. They still cast refugees as devious criminal infiltrators.
Fuck off already.
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Boris Johnson will be in Nixonian slump of bitter paranoia by now. How much must people around him hate him to be leaking material that must, surely, only be available to people with high/max security vetting.
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But she couldn't say if Macron was friend or foe.
Congratulations to
@GiorgiaMeloni
on her party's success in the Italian elections.
From supporting Ukraine to addressing global economic challenges, the UK and Italy are close allies. 🇬🇧🇮🇹
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I see someone has had the monstrous temerity to lead a party that is not the Labour Party. Mercifully Labour Twitter is on the case.
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I doubt it makes difference beyond SW1, but I imagine there will be a few Tory MPs made uncomfortable by sight of Ed M, a man whose credentials to be PM they derided, looking and sounding so much more capable in a serious brief than the incarnate shambles they chose as leader.
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Column: Just as no single fix will stop the addict's craving, there is no compromise the EU could offer that would satisfy the Brexiters' need to feel aggrieved.
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Made-up law to be made-up repealed says once serious TV news channel in once serious country.
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Nadine Dorries calling John Major a traitor on Twitter feels like a pretty efficient representation of what Brexit has done to the Conservative party.
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This picture of Johnson blocking the doorway and speaking from what looks like the wrong side of a desk in his attempt to construct a statesmanlike image could almost be a metaphor for something ...
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So stupid, it actually hurts. All of it.
If just a fraction of the lazy honking about Lineker in ink and airtime had been applied instead to evaluating the likely efficacy and motive of the bill ...
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He actually feels sorry for himself.
*He* feels wronged by this.
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"from his holiday" as an MP, when parliament is setting, at a time of political and economic crisis.
Is there a clue here, I wonder, as to whether there would be "a different culture" in Downing St second time round.
New: Boris Johnson has been personally calling Tory MPs from his holiday in a bid to secure their backing,
@camillahmturner
has been told.
He promised one MP that there would be a "different culture" in Downing Street if he becomes PM again.
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Yes, I suppose maybe provoking liberal outrage is part of the purpose of Braverman's comments. It doesn't change the underlying moral argument. I'm tired now of the inference that liberals should bite their lips because fascism is fertilised by cosmopolitan smugness.
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Brave of Conservatives to pick a fight on "who is financing your party and what do they get for their money?"
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Column, on the grim prospect of Johnson blowing up his own Brexit deal because he's run out of political ammunition on everything else.
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I wonder if Liz Truss is in the keeping very busy with other things stage of denial or has reached the point of sitting motionless, staring at the wall, while officials clear their throats and tap gingerly at the open door to get her attention.
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If UK leaves single market and customs union it automatically makes NI-ROI the external border of EU. Ireland is then bound by its treaties to enforce that border. So for Kate Hoey, Rees-Mogg et al to say UK not choosing a border is deeply dishonest.
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The glaring problem with this speech is its presumption that no-one - not even Boris Johnson's government - had ever thought of growing the economy before.
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I continue to be impressed* by the ability of UK politics to have a collective crisis about leaving the EU in innovative ways that swerve the question of whether it is ultimately a good idea to leave the EU.
*depressed
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Me: It's cold outside, you need to dress like Helen of Troy's husband.
Kids: ?
Me: Manylayers.
Kids: 😐
#dadjokes
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Amazingly this tweet is anagram of "I'm really sorry my own failed efforts at uniting the Tory party ended up screwing the entire country."
Task facing PM, given the circs, is to deliver the most stable govt possible - today's DUP deal helps achieve that. All Cons should support.
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Johnson - officially surprised that leader of the official opposition is opposing him.
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Get Ukraine's struggle out of your mouths, Johnson loyalists.
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Downing Street: no-one should trust a word that is said by the mendacious maniac who was recently employed by the prime minister as head of strategy (and who engineered the biggest domestic and foreign policy project pursued by a British government for generations).
Reassuring.
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When Brexiters talk about civil unrest it isn't a warning, it is a threat.
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That is exactly how much of a shit I give about what Boris Johnson has to say about funding for the NHS.
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So I have been silent in print and on the socials since Xmas. This might explain why. (Working on the principle that you should write what you know).
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I wonder who will be first prominent leaver to admit to self, then country that Brexit proving impossible to do without breaking everything.
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Still yet to see a rebuttal of John Major speech that isn't just a personal attack on the man and denial of his entitlement to an opinion.
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Column: there is no pandemic scenario so bad that having Gavin Williamson in charge of schools can't make it even worse
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When the moment requires candour, insight and gravity, Boris Johnson reliably shrinks to the occasion.
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"I want to have an election" says Johnson, before remembering that his script is "I don't want an election".
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Sacking RLB was right in terms of zero tolerance on antisemitism, but in raw political terms it also reflects well on Starmer's judgement. He could see the future cost of letting it slide in terms of issuing a licence for worse and for brazenness with it.
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UK politics 2018: Ha, ha Ukip, what a joke. Loony fringe. All the lols.
Now, where were we? Oh yes, deploying the full capacity of the state, with support of Labour and Tory leaders, to do the one thing Ukip always said we should do.
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There is something exhausting about having to even care about this degenerate prime minister. His refusal to ever responsibility for his actions feels like a moral tax on everyone who thinks responsibility in office matters.
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Column on the triumph of the absurd in British politics
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So Labour's position is to negotiate a Brexit that no serious Brexiteer would like and then have a referendum in which Prime Minister Corbyn would not be able to decide between a crap deal and remain. Hmm.
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At some point the smarter among Corbyn's supporters will realise that he is just not clever or talented enough to be useful in the fight they are now waging against irrelevance.
And the tighter they cling to him as their totem, the faster they will be swept to the fringe.
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EU: Trade means rules.
UK: We don't like your rules.
EU: Ok, but then less trade.
UK: How about same trade, only some rules?
EU: No.
UK [falls silent, goes off to Chequers, comes back looking smug]
Got it. Same trade, your rules for a bit, then only some rules!
EU: 🙄
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Govt message to any UK business with EU supply chains: you have until Dec 2020 to relocate within the single market.
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It's the detail in the Leadsom amendment, including the composition of new committee and naming a chair, that really gives it the force of a heist.
In a competitive field, one of the more cynical and disreputable things I've seen on the order paper.
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Packed Commons debating Brexit. Boris Johnson absent. The weaselly cowardice of the man knows no limits.
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For some Tories, Truss's uselessness is cause to regret ditching Johnson.
In truth, promoting her as successor, knowing what she is like, was his last epic act of cynical, selfish vandalism motivated by vanity in curating his own status without care for the national interest.
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Whether deliberate or accidental, the farce of the 1000m voting queue - forcing MPs to participate in something so obviously ridiculous - has the effect of belittling and humiliating the legislature, which is a classic bullying tactic to exert control.
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Stricken with insomnia last night I found myself pondering the fact that 0.999-recurring actually equals 1... (a short thread)
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For a party that attracted a lot of Remain voters, Lab sure does a good impression of being dead keen on a hard Brexit.
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How to tell if an avocado is ripe:
Do you want to eat it now?
-> not ripe
Did you momentarily forget that you own an avocado?
->too late, grey mush.
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Yes, customs unions are wicked. I recall trauma of growing up under CU. Living in fear of the external tariff police. My parents would tune a short-wave radio to non-CU stations at night, quietly, in case neighbours heard and denounced us.
Liam Fox: 'I don't think there is a customs union that could ever be acceptable'
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HMG does not much like being treated as a 'third country' in relations with EU.
There was a way to avoid that indignity.
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Theresa May demonstrating why it is good to have MPs in Commons who have actually done the jobs of the (prime) ministers they are addressing. Used to happen more.
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It's funny right up until you remember that it's your bed they're shitting in.
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"You call it 'extreme authoritarian-style measures at a time of national calamity' but we prefer to think of it as 'socialism'" is not the brilliant argument Corbyn & co think it is.
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When inflation was on the way up ministers were very fluent in explaining how it was not a consequence of government policy.
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PM explicitly calling for a new customs border and a new DUP-friendly mechanism to effect systematic economic dislocation of NI from Republic. His plan tramples all over Good Friday Agreement and his cabinet is either too thick to notice or doesn't care.
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Watching Johnson's post-resignation manoeuvres is like that feeling after flushing a public toilet, then realising it is blocked, and watching the fetid waste rising back up towards the lip of the bowl instead of disappearing down the u-bend.
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Column: If Tory MPs sack Johnson for lying they'd have to say what he lied about, and that would be pulling on a stray thread that unravels the whole shoddy weave
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Column: Boris Johnson - unpopular populist, and the cult of cake that ate the Conservative party
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2016: Irish border is not a problem.
2017: Irish border is problem that can be solved by magic.
2018: Irish border is only a problem because EU doesn't believe in magic.
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Reasons why the unintentional breach of rules excuse fails.
1. It's not a defence that was available to anyone else.
2. He is PM in charge of rules and should have known them.
3. Serial cheats and liars don't get the benefit of the doubt.
4. Oh, just f- off already.
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I wonder if Tory Brexiteers, now cheering Johnson, pause to consider how his playbook of extreme executive power could one day be deployed by a Corbyn administration.
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