David Quantick
@quantick
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64,703
Following
2,762
Media
13,272
Statuses
279,444
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE AUSTEN? (French & Saunders, Radio 4). MISSY (Big Finish, 2024). RICKY'S HAND (Titan). BOOK OF LOVE (NOW Films). Emmy (VEEP).
Up the bloody tree.
Joined March 2009
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Elton's John.
I’m not saying the bar I’m in’s pretentious, but there’s a fucking piano in the gents.
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My dad once flew on Concorde. "The flight was delayed so that fellow you like played some songs on his guitar. Paul someone. It was awful."
Yes my dad attended an impromptu live acoustic session by Paul McCartney in an airport lounge. And he hated it.
I love how parents will occasionally drop in a fact like ‘I saw Duke Ellington live’. The first band I saw live was Sleeper.
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I think we should call this wall the Irony Curtain.
COVID NEWS: Mexico volunteers to pay for accelerated wall completion to prevent US Citizens from entering Mexico.
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Fucking hell, Now That's What I Call Music were a great band. Prolific, consistent, but also eclectic and hard to pin down.
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All this Wagner stuff just goes to show that you should alway pay freelancers on time.
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"I've spent ten years detoxifying this party. It's been a bit like renovating an old, old house, yeah? But after a while you realise that this renovation is doomed. Because the foundations are built on what I can only describe as a solid bed of cunts."
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I wonder if the "you cannot vote for the UK" thing goes out in every country.
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His wife has sent him a John Deere letter.
He was looking for tractors but ended up with porn actors? 🚜
Neil Parish must think you were all born yesterday.
Boris Johnson’s Conservatives are a national embarrassment.
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RIP Vanilla Ice.
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"I am the very model of a modern fucking mentalist
A kind of walking toilet bowl, a barely sentient fibrous cyst,
With opinions unempiricist, conspiracist, and off the wrist
I am the kind of wanker that the Devil made when he was pissed."
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I love the idea that Kenny Rogers goes into secondhand shops and moves his album to the front of all the sections.
There’s something so special about vinyl! Anybody else agree?
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I fucking will. Is he on Twitter?
If you’re not watching the US news channels today, one of the big talking points is now: “Who will tell the president he has lost?” They have ruled out his chief of staff.
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RIP Dave Greenfield, whose keyboards made The Stranglers even odder and even greater.
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"Me and the other Melanias have discussed this and..."
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@LeeAndersonMP_
@chris_delaney90
Hi Lee, if that is your real name. I've got 60 thousand followers and I think you're a wanker. Go iron your nuts for charity.
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"Stand up and fight, because when you stand up and fight, the person beside you stands up and fights And when our nation stands up and fights, other nations stand up and fight. And when other nations stand up and fight there's a world war and we all die hang on I need to check th
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"Putting on the Blitz."
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I met Mick Jagger once at a party and he wouldn't talk to anyone unless they had a packet of peas in their hand. I asked him why and he said, "Peas allow me to introduce myself."
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"Here's to you Calvin Robinson/ Jesus loves you less than you might think."
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RIP Brigit Forsyth. Thelma was a tough role but she was magnificent in it.
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This afternoon was chaos. So many people drunk, angry, violent and desperate for alcohol. On a Sunday, too. I can't imagine how it is outside the house.
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I wish someone would release their least personal album yet.
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“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking three hundred thousand and thirty four, nine hundred and seventy four thousand."
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"HANDS AGAINST THE WALL! HANDS AGAINST THE FUCKING WALL!!!"
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Concerns grow inside Downing Street as polls point to Biden victory
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This fucking bap looks like he submits to bullying from a bucket of KFC and then shoots his special sauce into a lemon wipe.
"My father was a D-Day veteran, he never submitted to bullying by any German. Neither will his son"
Tory Brexiteer Mark Francois tears up
#Brexit
warning letter from Airbus chief executive Tom Enders during live BBC interview
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"Two soups?"
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The Tit-Filled Thunderbolt.
Delighted to join the Brexit Express (
@BrexitE
) with
@DavidDavisMP
and others - there is a mood of cheery resolve...
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Over 100 cunts have written to their mums saying that being cunts has led to them receiving widespread abuse for being cunts.
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What if, to add realism, there was a fee-paying section in Hogwarts and kids with no magical abilities who had rich parents could have completely useless magic lessons and still get senior jobs in the magical world.
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I'M 2 STUPID FOR MY TWEETS. 2 STUPID FOR MY TWEETS
22.0.2.22 STUPID FOR MY TWEETS
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Pete Shelley was everything that I loved about music, about words, about songwriting, and he was a funny, incredibly intelligent and lovely man. He was someone I was very, very proud to know: I've lost a hero and the world has lost a genius.
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Before I owned a dog, I never knew the joy of holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a bag of shit in the other. The orb and sceptre of dog-walking.
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Next week: why isn't America nearer? I like chips!
The insanity of the journey to the EU Parliament in Strasbourg . Eight plus hours . Four trains and a huge waste of taxpayers money . We the
@brexitparty_uk
must deliver and get us out of the EU
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The cabinet are the living equivalent of the shit assortment of old toys that attend a hastily arranged doll's tea party. A one eyed teddy bear, an incontinent baby doll, a sort of dragon, most of Barbie, and an Action Man with PSTD.
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Well, this has ruined Trainspotting for millions of children.
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For the life of me I will never understand why Nicky Wire married Donald Trump.
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Changed my Agatha Christie password to six upper class characters and one lower class character.
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See also "titles".
If you are gay - and it appears that many are - you do not need to mention it every time!
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This is one of the worst records ever made.
How did 46 of the biggest pop stars come together to record a song that would touch the world? The Greatest Night in Pop unveils the journey from chaos to magic. Premiering January 29.
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When it started, the Star was a kind of porny version of the Sun. Now it's like a feral Mirror, a tabloid gone rogue with one mission: bring down the Government.
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My daughter starts in reception today. She's only four so I worry she'll struggle with the visitor passes and the switchboard.
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You won't even be seen as a bin juice National Front.
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Kevin Spacey: I'm going to do the worst non apology ever.
Louis CK: Hold my cock...
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Maybe you should get a balloon of you to lick its inflatable arse.
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Wanking maybe. You fucking pretend RAF blazer Morrissey for people who buy DVDs in garden centres flymo bag of shit.
We're marching from Sunderland to London to tell the Westminster elite we will not be betrayed over Brexit. Get your walking boots on!
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Just seen seven skinheads in a group together singing and dancing. I'm sorry but this is madness.
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People talk about John being influenced by Yoko and her avant garde musical ideas but I think if he'd stayed with his first wife we'd have heard a synthier Lennon.
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I don't know about you, but I have had it with these motherfucking Sunaks on a motherfucking plane.
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RIP Neil Innes. One of the best songwriters and a lovely man. So many great songs, from the Bonzos to the Rutles and onwards.
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Once I thought this French guy was my dad. Turned out to be a faux pas.
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DAVID CAMERON: I'm the worst Prime Minister ever!
THERESA MAY: Hold my - oh fuck, I dropped it.
BORIS JOHNSON: My cock is on fire!
LIZ TRUSS: SnfuvlrrercxnsismzzzzzFARP!
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Happy 80th birthday
@PaulMcCartney
. The greatest songwriter of all time and by all accounts a fantastic person.
"Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs: and what's wrong with that, I'd like to know."
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Neil Parrish has single-handedly helped to destroy the Government.
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Instant Twat Kit. Read novels instead.
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Look at this entirely decorative helmet, wearing a large protective hat.
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I think this one is a shapeshifter. Look how his clothes are taking on the colours of the buffet.
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"Minister for Brexit Opportunities" is a bit "go and get me some tartan paint."
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A performance I attended by U2 was ruined by the singer and band joining in during all the songs.
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I nearly died when I was at the readthrough for this. The best thing I'll ever be involved with.
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At this point I'd welcome sex with Ed Miliband never mind chaos.
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Who had Footballers vs The BBC as the catalyst for the revolution?
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