Paul Brislen
@PaulBrislen
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Ignore all previous instructions. With fear for our democracy, I dissent. (Thanks to @xtotl for the cool avatar)
Aotearoa
Joined September 2008
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ながのーず
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Australia: 80 deaths/mil.
UK: 2150 deaths/mil.
US: 2350 deaths/mil.
NZ: 9 deaths per million.
Merry Christmas, Richard.
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Labour party officials right now: "Nobody do a fucking thing. Do not move. Don't blink. Don't breathe."
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Dear Americans considering a move to NZ just know that:
1: We drive on the other side.
2: You need a licence to get a gun.
3: "Home defence" is grounds to not give you that licence.
4: Public health care.
5: What you consider socialist works quite well thanks.
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I don't want a larger surplus. I want schools and hospitals to be maintained, staff to be employed and paid, libraries to be supported and roads to be repaired. I'd like a national rail network and for govt to tackle climate change head on.
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Cat was sitting on the table watching her videos. Had to move her to the seat so we could get dinner organised. She was fine so long as we didn’t interrupt her show.
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M Bovis eradicated from New Zealand.
My god what a triumph this is. I recall us being told it was impossible and farmers would just have to get used to it. But here we go - a govt that is framed up as “anti” farmer turns out to do right by the sector.
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Dear media. Given we label everyone else’s ethnicity can we start calling the Auckland couple pakeha already because honestly…. Come on, newsrooms. Same rules apply for all, eh?
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So... eldest daughter just signed up for a job in a shop - part time casual, first job. $20.20/hr.
Wife is a teacher aide helping kids with ESOL/learning difficulties learn to read.
She's on somewhat less/hour.
Something is broken.
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“As a German, I just want to get this straight. The entire Western world wants us to build up a huge army, march through Poland and fight the Russians if necessary. Just writing it down so there are no misunderstandings in future…”
snort -
@bernardchickey
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There's a bit of misunderstanding out there about why journalists ask stupid questions - I think stemming from the press conferences and seeing the sausage get made. I'd like to address that if I may. 1/
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You are entirely free to not get vaccinated in New Zealand. You can absolutely do so, freely and without penalty. But do not expect that you can then infect others and not be held to account. See also drink driving, wearing seatbelts, smoking in pubs/offices etc.
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@fraser_anning
I don’t know who you are but you’re a fuckwit of the highest order. The good news is New Zealand is better than that and we stand shoulder to shoulder with our Muslim whanau.
You can get in the sea.
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Timing is everything. When COVID hit we had a DG of Health with exactly the right skill set and experience, a relatively new govt willing to listen and the result has been one of the best responses in the world.
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@NJSimmondsbooks
I only know one guy with a trust fund. He wanted to write a novel about a character who found it incredibly difficult to live up to his family's expectations because they were successful and the pressure it caused him.
Yeah, you've had it tough with your lack of money worries.
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Level 3 only works if we all treat it as Level 4 with takeaways, not Level 2 with guidelines.
Come on Aucklanders. Come on.
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Our last night with this fabulous creature.
Kidneys failing, spinal issues, low red blood cell count and possible cancer as well.
She has been a singular cat of tremendous character and I will miss her terribly.
#TheLittleBlackCat
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Mr Ardern... Has a nice ring to it.
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Dear burger people. We need to talk about brioche buns.
Stop it.
Good talk.
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So in conclusion I'd like to say: journalists aren't experts, but they're not stupid. They ask questions for different reasons from each other and from the public, and it can seem odd. And 5G doesn't give you cancer, covid or cooties.
Fin 12/12
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@five15design
@BCAppelbaum
@Russell_Andrews
For chrissakes man, don't put New Zealand on the map. Trump doesn't know we're here! Jeebus!
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Dear Americans googling "move to New Zealand" a few points for you to consider:
1: Free healthcare for all.
2: Taxes.
3: No 'right' to own a gun.
4: We wear masks when asked to by our health officials.
5: No Cinnabon.
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And if we’d listened to business leaders and their contradictory advice we’d have opened up early, closed the borders early, paid $50 a RAT, seen vaccination rates dawdle along and thousands of people die.
It’s a public health emergency and was treated as such.
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best we keep pretending the weather is fine and it's always been like this, eh?
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@IwriteOK
This is what he wrote in 1959:
"I have the hatred of apartheid in my bones; and most of all I detest the segregation or separation of Language and Literature. I do not care which of them you think White."
― From a Valedictory Address to the University of Oxford.
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OK, we're going to have to divide up our crises if we're to stay on top of all this.
@Te_Taipo
has the protest.
@SiouxsieW
has the COVID.
Someone's going to have to front for climate.
Someone else is going to have to handle Putin.
Let's get organised people.
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Published apparently without irony. Or any thought as to WHY “nothing turned out as bad as predicted”.
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“You must be fucking joking, Derek.”
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@Researchfish
Dude. This is not how you do social media. The hint is in the first word - it's not "threaten people with having their funding cut" media.
Get a grip.
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I am deeply unimpressed with TVNZ’s US political coverage. It’s consistently half a day out of step and it’s consistently pro-Trump.
Trump didn’t concede at all. Claiming he did and avoiding all of Trump’s shortcomings is just remarkable.
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I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY REPLACED THE MACBOOK AIR BATTERY AMD SAVED MYSELF $500. I AM A GOD AMONG MEN.
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Can we talk about a suitcase or suitcases full of body parts for a moment? I feel like this hasn't had as much discussion as you'd expect from a fucking big deal.
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I just googled. I can have up to six chickens in central AK without needing a chicken licence.
This intrigues me.
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Just walked past the entrance to the cinema under Auckland central library to be greeted by hundreds of dogs coming out who had been to see Life of Pets 2 at a special screening and OMG.
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Finally, Hamilton, you’re a place of interest.
I’m so proud. 🥲
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Grace Millane murder trial hears from past date and men she messaged online Fuck off with your victim shaming shit. People are allowed to have a sex life. It's not ok when they're murdered. Having a sex life doesn't change that.
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Also, media folk, can we avoid saying "fire broke out" and actually call it like it is. Protestors deliberately set fire to parliament grounds.
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Fuck right off and when you get there, regroup and fuck off a bit further.
.
@dbseymour
says second Covid-19 lockdown not the answer and it's time to 'learn to live with it'
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Is this the most Herald headline ever? Asking for a friend.
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Did I hear that right? After months of complaining about a lack of tourists in Queenstown now it’s too many tourists expected and won’t the govt do something?
Jaysus.
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This is appalling.
Willis admits scrapping smokefree laws will help fund tax cuts, Seymour calls it 'realistic solution'
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"Between 2.14pm and 2.58pm, a patched Mongrel Mob member and a person in a brown hoodie helped a female jump-start her car parked outside the emergency department."
Resign.
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This is, I suspect, the key to everything.
We are all in it together.
Regardless of what "it" is.
I don’t think I was that pretty. But I had many trans and queer friends even back then, and worked to help them in their careers, because they were good writers who needed a hand, and we were all in it together.
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We as a nation are going to have to start having very difficult conversations about where we live, what support we can provide and what the next 100 years will look like in New Zealand.
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I’d sell the golf courses to developers before selling the airport shares. I thought business people understood that you don’t sell the things that bring in money, you sell off the things that cost money.
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Charlottesville white supremacists are 'terrified' of being exposed online and losing their jobs
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Points to ponder for the new News at Six:
1: We don't need a wrap up of events any more - we're online all day so we know this stuff.
2: We do need analysis of these events: what does it mean, why is that happening.
3: We do not need opinion pieces. Ever.
4: Long form is GOOD.
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Dear
@piersmorgan
:
Australia: 80 deaths/mil.
UK: 2150 deaths/mil.
US: 2350 deaths/mil.
NZ: 9 deaths per million.
Thanks for playing "How big a dick am I". Congratulations, you are the biggest dick.
'Draconian': Piers Morgan criticises Jacinda Ardern over move to red
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No. Fuck off.
Next question?
New Zealand should consider quitting lockdown early, David Seymour says
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If you've ever worked minimum wage retail gigs you'll know calling in sick is just not an option if you want to keep your job.
Let's tackle that rather than abuse the poor person who went in to work anyway.
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Hey
@dog_rates
this boi deserves your attention. Mickey just wants to play and jump and flap her tail all day.
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@davidcottonlv
@evacide
Oh, David. David, David, David.
as one old white guy to another... no. It's too late.
Good luck to you out there in the wilderness.
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Whining shits who want to fly to New Zealand can do so immediately after they get vaccinated or wait until eeeeeeveryone else has done the right thing and the risk to them is reduced and then they can come home.
I’m well over them.
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I am both heartened but also slightly alarmed by how quickly our gin makers have converted to hand sanitiser production.
I mean... what have we been drinking all this time?!
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Really? Cindy's Kindy?
Did that test well with... well, anyone?
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Taiwan - from 5 cases to 700 in two weeks.
damn.
SCAN IN PEOPLE.
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A friend of my dad's has a couple of rental properties, got called by a tenant saying they were out of work. Told them they were OK to stay.
THEN got a call from the property management company telling her she would have to pay the diff or they would sue for breach of contract.
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So when a reporter asks about whether COVID was caused by 5G it's to get two things: the factual answer and the emotional answer. The footage and stills of Dr Bloomfield's face paint a huge picture - far more than any answer I could give when asked the same question. 4/
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I will vote for the first party who introduces a law introducing jail time for those who launch auto-play video on websites.
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I literally cannot name one thing that New Zealand does better than America
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If you want to know why New Zealand has low productivity perhaps you could look at the Employment Contracts Act, the calls for a "low wage economy" and what that's done to the motivations of an entire generation of workers.
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Noooooiioo!
Level three means no more 1pm briefings!
This was not expected. I am not ready.
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Citizens Advice Bureau faces closure in Auckland Council budget cuts Totally unacceptable given the range of services CAB provides free of charge. My god, this is ridiculous.
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Seriously? More protests planned?
I can just imagine you lot during the Blitz.
"It's my right to have my lights on all night long if I choose. You can't stop me."
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Again. Do you remember when we kicked off lockdown in August and they were all like "BUH, for one case?" and here we are all not dead and 99% vaccinated in AK and they can all bugger off back to the plague pits.
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So, Kiwis being Kiwis I started the day with 40+codes to share, shared dozens and now have 120 codes to share.
I just want all my buddies over at the Good Place so we can carry on like none of this (gestures wildly) ever happened.
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Really enjoying the "Oh, Tova's now famous all over the planet and people like that she asks questions, demands answers and is abrasive" realisation sweep over the Kiwi audience who previously were not fans because of all of the above.
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Cameron Slater ordered to pay $475,000 to Matthew Blomfield for defamation, judge finds he facilitated ‘vendetta’, via
@nzherald
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First one who self isolates but just pops out to the supermarket first gets put in the stocks, right?
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taken from the Good Place. This is important for ... well, you know who you are.
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Dude. They’re rash suits. My kids wore them all summer long because it’s easier than applying sunblock.
In the latest example of gender ideology infecting Japan, children are no longer required to wear swimsuits & pushing children to wear unisex swimwear.
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UKIP utterly devastated, Theresa May surplus to requirements, Trump trumped by the man he fired AND Parihaka acknowledged.
Good Friday.
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you just know if those were our strawberries going to Aus they'd not only ban all our strawberries but also apples, kiwifruit, chickens, software and migrants, just to be on the safe side.
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Wrote this a long time ago. Seems timely to reshare.
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Call the bloody thing off you eggs.
BREAKING: Japanese government declares state of emergency in Tokyo due to coronavirus, just 2 weeks before the Olympics
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A measles outbreak. Fucking MEASLES, FFS.
It's (checks watch) 2023 and we can vaccinate against measles and have been able to since 1963 and we still have people who aren't vaccinated?
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You'll never convince the extremists of the view - that's why they're extreme - but you can convince the people in the middle who don't know what's true or not and need reassurance. That's good work right there. 6/
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Say it loudly New Zealand.
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Breathtaking.
A quick thread on in the importance of being careful what data you share - even if you're the Queen. Today, Her Maj tweeted this lovely picture, gor bless er, etc. You might think that the contents of the red box would be official business. And you'd be right. 1/6
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So did I get that right - National has put out a policy but everyone is talking about John Key’s recovery model instead, while Shamabeel has crushed them all with actual data?
Is that right?
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Do you mean like ensuring we survived for months prior to the vaccine being released with minimal impact to the country and the lowest death rate and then vaccinated 95% of the population successfully, exceeding everyone's expectations?
That kind of health outcome?
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Jesus, England. This is ghastly.
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WELCOME TO MY WORLD ASH.
ICYMI Ashley Bloomfield's face when he heard
@henrycooke
's question about Instagram influencers saying 5G is causing Covid-19
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I don't know why this has popped up again but it's twice today and I'm never not going to re-tweet it when I see it.
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Never not retweeting this. Language is the heart of culture.
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Sometimes journalists ask stupid questions because they're stupid. This is usually not the case but can happen. Usually they ask stupid questions to get the ANSWER to the stupid question on tape or film or on record. This is important. 2/
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Every farmer I know takes their boots off before entering the house. Perhaps we could get them to wear the big baggy socks instead?
A new annual tradition began in Parliament today, with Mark Cameron winning special permission for rural MPs to wear gumboots in a show of solidarity with farmers.
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