11: Jared Kushner, 2 page bio
Here's the star - Jared.
Jared gives himself a 2 page bio, 6 TIMES the space devoted to the retired Major General.
He also does A VICTORY LAP ON COVID-19.
-1/5 stars, I hate it here.
1:The mission
Kushner & Co paid some consulting firm for this word salad of nonsense. What's the market? What's the focus? Why your capital?
Oh c'mon, we know that - it's the ex-President son-in-law. That should have been the mission statement.
1/5 stars
2: G2M
Does Jared like baseball bc This looks like a fair-ball batting chart for the Mets, redone in word art.
Why is Affinity a wedge of cheese? Why is Strategic Enablement in the middle? Why is Affinity Value Add moving bi-directionally?
Chart-junk at its finest, 0/5
3: "My Angel Investing track record"
Kush touts his experience w/Middle East Peace as a reason to invest with him. Also, gov't policy is all about "aligned economic interests."
This is the slide where GPs tout they got in early @ Alibaba, FB, Uber b/c their B-school chums. 0/5
4: Literally every deck ever
Affinity focuses on "five key verticals" which is somehow every vertical and no vertical at all. They mention "secular winners" at least, so glad this won't be a theocratically led firm.
1/5 stars
5: Secret Sauce time
J/k there's no secrets, there's not even sauce
Their "nexus of industry and country provides differentiated insights."
Also, they invest in "scalable co's that offer best in class products."
Like Jared, this is mayonnaise on toast level bland. 0/5 stars
6: More Word Art
The landscape of investments looks a lot like a WordArt PowerPoint auto-generated slide with the word "TRANSFORMATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES"
7: Their Process (tm)
J & Co have a process for their deal flow which considers such metrics as VALUATION. But also, ROEffort -e.g. return on effort, how hard it is to due the diligence.
Also, they have an investment committee!
1/5 stars
8:More Word Salad
I defy you to explain this run-on sentence:
"Countries and governments with the right game plan to create synergies with top providers of innovation and capital will grow their markets and transform their societies."
0/5 stars
P.S. Like any sacred text, the more one studies it, the more is revealed -
At the center of the logo, three cryptic phrases emerge from the mist:
Growth Markets
Leadership Commitment
Scalable Companies
#inspired
Many ppl have asked, so what makes a GOOD pitch deck? I wrote one.
Here's the step-by-step structure I teach MBA students on making a 5 min or less business pitch to execs, a semi-helpful🧵& brazen attempt to further cash in on my 15min of fame
@paul_griffiths
Jared this, Jared that. 24 times in one bio! The word Jared.
Is he a child? No formality. Who is the copy editor here?
As someone who has put together many pitch decks. I have no words that would properly express my disgust that money changed hands because of this mediocrity.