shelfie⁷
@overflowingboo1
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professional rapline stan | 33 | she/her | ace 🏳️🌈 | 🔞 | ask me about my #BroadwayBangtan agenda
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i keep forgetting that jungkook is an international pop sensation and not just my best friend who facetimes me when he’s supposed to be sleeping
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Ok but I get a little emotional about Yoonji because he never ever played her as a joke? Like he took it seriously and did funny things like the ponytail and TT reference but he didn’t freak out about having to dress in drag or make fun of girls and he still mentions her like a—
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bts wordle: what’s a 5-letter bts word?
me: jimin
bts wordle: no not that
me:
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ok but has anyone done a “bts rappers as the vocalist’s girlfriend” thread yet ?
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The Three Witches from Macbeth
why does it look like they are deciding what to do with a dead body
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just to be clear though… yg got jin drunk and then sent him over to jk’s place?
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staff: ok we are obligated to ask you a very simple question but can you please be chill about it?
bts: sure
staff: how well do you know each other?
bts:WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST A DECADE WE SHARE A HEART HOW COULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT WE ARE LITERALLY HOLDING HANDS RIGHT N
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“ksj is secretly married”
actually ksj secretly has a group of bffs who are literally always in his house and he’s spent a solid decade protecting them from the world while they very quietly and patiently supported their famous bestie 🥹
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broke: namjoon doesn’t have a boyfriend
woke: namjoon’s boyfriend has been fighting for his life against the rest of bangtan sonyeondan for 10 years somebody give this man a medal
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for those who didn’t watch this morning, yg and el capitxn made out on the mixing board
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the best part of the haegeum dance is that it exists for no reason at all except for yoongi to be the king of his very own tiktok dance challenge
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i’ll never understand how hobi manages to straddle that line between ao3 f*ckboy hoseok and queen mother so delicately
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yoongi: jk is all grown up now😻
also yoongi: grown up into a f*@&ing weirdo ig but wachu gonna do? 🤷🏻♂️
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sometimes i think namgi look at each other like “nobody expects us to do this thing so let’s do it at 150% commitment out of spite” and i respect them so much for that
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—real person who went to college and stuff and THAT’S the funny part. Even in the behind the scenes of this ep he says something like “I would have been embarrassed when we first debuted but now I don’t care tbh” like he acknowledges the growth he’s just such a good and I 😭😭😭
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yoongi is the type of person to say "you won't believe what happened to me today" and 30 minutes later you realize he just recited the entire plot of Return of the Jedi and seokjin is standing in the doorway nodding along like "he's telling the truth I was the lightsaber"
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never forget that time yg was talking about the little mermaid like “i could learn sign language for a man but idk how he’s gonna rail me with a tail”
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it’s cute how the gp thinks we’re all in love with bts in an “oooh ahhhh cute boys!!” kinda way when in fact we’re in love with them in a “that’s my best friend who i occasionally bark at (and also i kiss girls)” kinda way
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(I also rewatched Jumanji last night and get so soft over Jack Black in that movie like you can be funny playing a teenage girl without making fun of teenage girls you know??)
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sope thing i love: discussing hot guys right out in the open. “damn that florist is hot” “namjoon’s arm is as thick as my leg” “do you think coldplay will look sexy in the clothes we bought them”
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joonie is the one cheering, “buggy!!” while yoonie is desperate to impress the 6-foot tall cutie patootie with the fruits of his midnight cicadellidae wikipedia spiral
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fic writers trying to decide whose relationship the seventh tannie is gonna join
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@troublesometime
Yeah they were just like “awww you’re so pretty 🤩” and Yoonji was like “YES AND I HAVE A GUN.”
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look at him. he has no idea where they’re taking him. but he will go regardless.
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@deepslowpanic
hobi, sighing: guess i gotta stick around and make sure they don’t completely ruin this child
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weverse army will be like “oh no i think bts supports gay people???!????” bts does musical theatre professionally
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hobi goes to vmin’s party and sees pink-cupped couple namgi (who he’s secretly crushed on forever). yg offers to pour him a drink, pausing for hobi to sheepishly request a blue cup.
at which point namgi hastily slide down their pink cups to reveal purple ones underneath. 🐨😼🐿️
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having gotten very into my area’s stand-up comedy scene, here are my various headcanons about the tannies as your local amateurs:
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the fondness in this man’s eyes as he tells jk “you’re one of the top 5 weirdest people I’ve met in my life” and he probably means the whole rest of bts except for hobi lbr
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Watching In the Soop is like dropping a bunch of Sims on a skill-building lot and waiting for one of them to set the grill on fire
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@deepslowpanic
wingman yg who’s heard all about jinkook’s mutual crushes on each other for years and takes every opportunity he can to make one of them finally confess (so he can finally be free)
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YOONGI LITTLE MERMAID?? YOONGI YEARNING FOR HIS PRINCE!??? another win for lgbt community 😭
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obviously namgi who have known each other for 13 years is *chef’s kiss* but
first date namgi who can’t believe their ducking luck after finally meeting someone so compatible with them who shares all their weird interests (including their mutual size kink) can be so personal
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yes i love enemies to lovers namgi but i love “holy crap look at this big tall genius idiot i need to take care of him” and “what a tiny cute grumpy old man i will forever dedicate myself to protecting him and/or the world from him bc he looks like he wants to punch it” even more
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Do you ever stop and think about how Sope's love language is 90% just messing with each other like how are they so annoying and yet so fond at the same time ??
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I don't know why I felt the need to tweet this I just think yoonjin are awkward dilfs who thrive on chaos
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being ace is great bc i’ll tweet something like “woah this is the hottest mv i’ve seen in my life🔥🥵🥵🥵!!!” and meanwhile i’ll just be sitting here drinking coffee or something
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au where nj’s ex stole his cat in the breakup so he keeps showing up at their apartment with exceedingly dramatic displays to try and beg for it back
roommates yoonjin witness this nightly and after losing a bet yg has to go down and say “hey… i see you’re looking for a cat?”
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don’t make me say it
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friends we all know now it was a mistranslation but it was very clear from the start that “weird” can’t even have a negative connotation for these dudes they are so FOND of each others’ peculiarities and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FOR IT😭
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i need a dynamic that’s like
alpha 1: 𝔦’𝔩𝔩 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲
alpha 2: 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖋 𝖎 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖘𝖙
their beta watching from the couch: is this how you flirt with each other?😕😬
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@eclatant_yoongi
And he went for relatable content like "every girl needs a hair tie on her wrist" like that's funny without being mean you know??
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from "i live because i can't die" to "the never ending hardships weren’t able to kill me and i bloom a lotus flower again"
i can't express how important this is to me
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corden: i can’t believe it’s been two years since we last saw each other!
joon: yeah and we heard you’ve been talking shit
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(not to deminish the fact that they are indeed oooh ahhh cute boys of course)
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with all the taechwita memes I'm here to announce that I am still holding out hope for 'memories of 2020' to reveal that he was, in fact, the stand-in for agust d
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jin’s gonna come back in 11 months and write the horniest, f-bomb-iest song solely in the spirit of competition
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welp since i’ve accidentally found a lot more of my people then you might as well know i sometimes write about them kissing too😘
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jungkook trying his very hardest to do a live while supervised in broad daylight
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few things make me more feral than alpha/beta pairings bc it’s just one guy rutting around growling at everyone who dares go near his bf, and meanwhile the bf in question is sitting there bemused like “lol babe calm down i’m not going anywhere ??”
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idols: *literally just wearing a jacket*
les misérables stans: DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE F*CKING SING ???!!!!!!!!
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your touch, i need that
5 months into dating, Yoongi still won't share Seokjin's bed.
🐱doesn't like people touching him (?)
🐹wants cuddles
📌relationship development
📌touch-starved
📌🔞
📌awkward conversations
📌happy ending(s)
📌boundaries are sexy
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this might be unpopular since I've built up quite the reputation as a namgist but I also really love namgi who are legitimately just best friends. namgi who have probably had long cringy discussions about how they *could* try to date but honestly they're not that into the idea.
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joon: you know the vitamin c graduation song? it’s kinda like that but more bittersweet because i know realistically we’re never gonna be as close as we once were and our experiences won’t always align the way they used t—
yoongi: yeah so fuck that one dude i knew in high school
bts book spoiler
the difference between joon and yoongi’s answer wow
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bangtan stories are always so innocuous though like the story’s gonna end up being “one time yoongi came home super drunk and made a bowl of ramen noodles and ate it so quickly that when he sneezed one came out his nose and then he asked if he looked cute with it” or something
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@luvcherrimotion
"The statistic that all Korean boys have 1 stuffed animal is incorrect. Most boys have 0 stuffed animals. Kim Taehyung, who is the proud owner of 20,130,613 Ryan plushies, is an outlier and should not have been counted."
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nj onstage: you guys think i'm sexy? you're crazy🤪😅
nj alone with his cellphone in the bathtub: unless...🤔😏
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Anyway if you read fic and you love Yoonji:
gently cast a spell
Hobi doesn't know a single thing about magic, but they're still caught up in Yoonji's spell.
🐿️ nb hobi
🐱 witch yoonji
📌 domestic fluff but at the club
📌 lots of magic
📌 dark humour
📌 sometimes murder is ok!
📌
@sapphest
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yoongi: technically marriage is a business arrangement under capitalism therefore—
officiant: sir i just asked if you had written any vows
bts, also at the alter: no no let him finish
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"why aren't there any gay people in the v—" THEY ARE THE GAY PEOPLE IN THE VIDEO
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yoongi: *creates and stars in the most badass music video of 2020*
hobi: I MADE THIS FOR YOU YOU STRAWBERRY-PICKING ELSA-LOOKIN ARMY-BOMB-HEADED WEEB
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nj actually tosses his pink cup away so fervently that it bonks yg in the face. but yg’s trying to look smooth, so he only stomps gently on nj’s foot in retribution.
hobi thinks they’re the cutest disasters he’s ever seen, so he slips a purple cup over his blue one and winks.
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if you think jin doesn’t band all the other tenants in the building together for a cat rescue heist then you are mistaken
(he meets nj’s bestie jk in the process and they get wrongfully arrested for arson together) (nobody knew the dancing guy from 218 was freaky like that)
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“meet me on the dance floor,” he flirts, and struts out to the middle of the living room where jinkook have started a (borderline violent) twerking contest.
and namgi, open-mouthed, follow.
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moon rise, it’s your time
Yoongi crashes in the future. Namjoon helps him build a home.
🐱 accidentally time travelled
🐨 is jin’s descendant
📌 past yoonjin
📌 coping with loss
📌 lots of angst but a lot more healing
📌 alternating pov
📌 hobi is an ai
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just immediately gave each other “the look” (obviously none of these men are innocent but SOPE MARRIED)
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the patient face of a man who was accidentally bonked at least six other times that day
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“wait but who’s gonna visit us on weverse live?” bang pd. hitman bang. do you see my vision?
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yg gets a text 20 minutes later.
nj:
wanna grab lunch tmrw?
yg:
duh
yg:
sweet dreams or whatever
nj:
🥟🥟🥟
yg falls asleep to the knowledge that vmin can never know he fell for a man they chose for him.
(he never lives it down for the rest of his whole life.)
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not bts trying to explain why an 8th member would Not be welcome in their polyamorous household
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yoongi: i'm thirsty
hobi: here have some water just don't lick it please
yoongi: *immediately puts the bottle directly in his mouth*
...
hobi: bro
yoongi: I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU OK ???
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billboard next week: artists with names that start with j and are members of a korean boy band do not count toward the charts
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