@nieshatrout Me but with men in general

@yashar 😭

@nieshatrout @yashar I need this sort of self esteem. Me buying a couch- “what is dog proof, teenage proof, wine proof”- I have three gray couches of various sturdy fabrics.

@nieshatrout Just avoid red wine. You'll be fine.

@nieshatrout

@nieshatrout @yashar Me with a black couch and white dog.

@nieshatrout @yashar You don't have kids or pets, right?

@nieshatrout Who the hell you calling unprecedented?

@nieshatrout @yashar Just like me, you've never spilled food in your life, right?

@nieshatrout @yashar I did the same when I was first married. I remember my parents looking at each other and snickering. I loved that couch though.

@nieshatrout @yashar 😁😁😁

@nieshatrout And now, celebrate, with chocolate pudding!

@nieshatrout @yashar I’d rather have 🐈s

@nieshatrout @yashar Oh honey...no...stick to patterns going forward ....signed Ms Messy

@nieshatrout @yashar I spilled root beer on my white couch the day I brought it home. Miraculously it didn't stain and I managed to sell it 6 years later as almost new. I still don't know what kind of witchcraft I wrangled to manage to pull that off but you can do this.

@nieshatrout @yashar Brown leather. I can't even wear a white shirt.

@nieshatrout I don't know who the hell I thought I was when I bought a leather couch despite having two cats that like to scratch but clearly I was experiencing an unprecedented amount of self-esteem at the time.

@nieshatrout I brought a new leather recliner and kitten into the house at the same time. I think mine was an unprecedented amount of self-deprecation at the time.

@nieshatrout Same when I bought a pair of white pants.

@nieshatrout And no kids, apparently 🤣