Lara Beitz
@LaraBeitz
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
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Comedy Central, Showtime, Fox, skipped 4th grade
Los Angeles, CA
Joined July 2010
“I just saw you at this other club, are you going to do the same set this weekend?” No I write a new hour every week just for you bitch
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🚀 TICKET SELL OUT ALERT Comedian and former Chicagoan @LaraBeitz returns to Zanies January 27-29! Grab your tickets while you can, Chicagoland, because they'll sell quickly! Tix and info--> https://t.co/7HWCPqtRlc
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If you have baby fever, just stop by Target today I found the cure
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It’s @LaraBeitz & @JMScomedy night!! FRIDAY NIGHT ⚡️ STAND-UP ⏰ 8pm (sold out) & 10pm 🎟 $20 (advance) 🍺 Full Bar https://t.co/XhcH2jZHl5
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FRIDAY NIGHT 🦊 STAND-UP w/ @LaraBeitz & @JMScomedy Shows @ 8 & 10pm $20 ⚡️ 18+ #bozeman #standup #comedy #montana #gallatinvalley #GoCats
https://t.co/XhcH2jIEj5
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🗣️ 8 o'clock show w/ @LaraBeitz & @JMScomedy this Friday night is almost SOLD OUT!! TIX: Get em while you can ⤵️ https://t.co/XFimWJCMUq
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This Friday night in #Bozeman… Headliner @LaraBeitz ➡️ Joe Rogan Experience ➡️ Lights Out w/ David Spade ➡️ opened for Marc Maron, Pete Holmes & more… Featuring Jessica Michelle Singleton (@JMScomedy) ⏰ 8pm & 10pm 🎟 $20 (advance) TIX ⤵️ https://t.co/XFimWJTPWq
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New Slobs podcast out every Monday!!!! With @JMScomedy @LaraBeitz and moi. Listen and subscribe now please
instagram.com
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SEPTEMBER HEADLINERS @ Last Best Comedy 9/2 @nickvatterott feat Suz Ballout 9/9 @simeygibson 9/16 @gavinmatts feat @Mikeglatzmaier 9/23 @jeffmakesjokes 9/30 @LaraBeitz feat @JMScomedy Catch 'em all LIVE in #Bozeman!! TIX @
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Just posted for Full Maron subscribers - Marc and @LaraBeitz on the road in Indianapolis after a less-than-successful hunt for late night food. Subscribe here: https://t.co/6UOBVnLgAM
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Have you listened to the latest episode of Slobs Yet?!? @JMScomedy and I had a bit of a rant while @LaraBeitz was off opening for Mark Maron https://t.co/PB6eyXcymh
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Cold brew is bad for you. I’m never drinking this again. I’m having heart palpitations
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Are you listening to Slobs Podcast!!! New eps out every Monday!! #podcast #moshpit
https://t.co/fEZXap0hu7
@LaraBeitz @JMScomedy
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Oh crap I forgot I’m wearing regular glasses not sunglasses and I’ve been staring at people a sunglasses amount
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New Slobs Podcast out today!! Listen now damnit @JMScomedy @LaraBeitz @TheComedyStore
https://t.co/6S8NKmvaFB
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This kid has been shrieking for his iPad for this entire flight. Give the kid the goddamn iPad or so help me god I will give him mine. Teach him to be a good person on your own time
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I don’t get the expression “like taking candy from a baby.” So the person shrieks and loses their mind? Babies fucking love candy
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Happy 4th, our country was founded by a frat
Ages of Founding Fathers in 1776: James Monroe, 18 Aaron Burr, 20 John Marshall, 20 Alexander Hamilton, 21 James Madison, 25 Benjamin Rush, 30 John Jay, 30 Thomas Jefferson, 33 Thomas Paine: 39
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I wonder if kids are weird because they’re homeschooled or if they’re actually just not bullied out of being themselves
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