Jon Levy
@JonLevyTLB
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Author of NYT Bestseller You're Invited. Behavioral scientist studying Influence, Connection & Trust. Founder The Influencers Dinner, Inspired Culture & IFG.
New York, NY
Joined November 2007
Have you ever worried that people would think you are incompetent if you asked for advice? DON'T! In general, people are flattered, and see you as smart for noticing how brilliant they are. Give yourself the opportunity to shine by asking others for support.
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In 1985, the average American had 3 friends outside of their own family. By 2004, we were down to 2. In less than a generation, we lost one-third of our close friends.
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Don't be fooled into thinking that a calm state equals productivity. Higher levels of motivation and engagement have been found when people have just enough anxiety that it drives them to action, but not so much to crumble under pressure. How do you find the perfect balance?
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When we show humanity without damaging our competence, people like us and relate to us more. To test this, researchers observed both perfect interview and interviews where people accidentally spilt coffee or dropped papers. Those who spilled/dropped papers ranked higher.
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STOP ASKING PEOPLE THE SAME STUPID QUESTIONS when you meet them. Our brains seek novelty, try asking something different that lets you get to know them. Here are a few to test out:
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If we were to become close friends one day, what would be important for me to know about you?
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Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save one item. What would it be? Why?
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One of the most effective ways to boost our happiness comes from the limitless and free act of demonstrating appreciation. It's easy. Call a friend and say thank you, or even send a text. These little actions not only make your friends and loved ones happier, but you as well.
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There are a lot of things that people think will make them happier, from great meals and more money, to sex and notoriety. But the truth is, it's sleep. Researchers found that this (oddly universally available and rarely consumed thing) has the greatest impact on happiness.
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Research suggests that Neanderthals were smarter and stronger than homo sapiens, but lived in much smaller communities. We survived as a species because we are better at working together. Next time you feel stressed out or overwhelmed, remember your strength is other people.
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A CMO shared their plans to positively impact the American justice system. I replied, “Does your company ask if a person is a felon on the job application?” He didn’t know. Small changes in the way we recruit talent, can make an incredible impact on marginalized communities.
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Companies often tout how important trust is, but then monitor employees. When employees put their careers in your hands and are repaid with surveillance, their vulnerability is abused and trust disappears. Understand that vulnerability comes before trust.
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Sudden change is hard (and unrealistic) like trying to workout 7 days a week. Instead, try marginal gains like a daily 10-minute walk that is increased by a few minutes each day. Break your resolution down and approach it slowly, so it becomes a habit and within your routine.
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Looking for success? Then get A LOT of feedback. Not only will people be flattered that you asked, but they will like you more if they invest the effort to support you. Best part, you will improve faster than those around you. What's something that you could ask for input on?
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It won't surprise you that people have higher levels of anxiety and less certainty about job security. In most moments of distress, people can congregate and gain comfort from a stronger sense of community. How has your team been able to connect and what has worked?
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The day companies realize that belonging to a culture that excites us is more important than foosball tables, will be the day that people enjoy going to work. Instead of spending money to compete for the best talent, spend money to design a culture where everyone wants to work.
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When pressure is high, we need to maintain healthy boundaries to stay sane and prevent burn out. Research shows that those who can advocate for themselves, experience better work satisfaction. This week practice saying no, or asking others for support, to keep you enjoying work.
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Want to increase sales? Try the Ben Franklin effect and ask for a quick favor. When people invest effort by doing us favors, we are viewed as more likeable and trustworthy. Asking a prospect for their opinion, recommendation, or thoughts, is a great start. It’s as simple as that.
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Research has shown that organizations dedicated to a challenge larger than profits outperform competitors. The key is to pick a fight bigger than the industry. Apple doesn’t fight the other tech giants, instead they fight for privacy. What does your organization fight for?
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