According to Micah Richards, England ‘sloppy and naive,’ two of the Spice Girls rejected at the audition stage.

#boilingpoint anyone that has worked in a professional kitchen will realise how off the mark this series is

A somewhat humorous look into #BM100 from a writer's viewpoint. @keithdunn

She didn't pay for a ticket so the best game of cat and mouse ever ensued... wait for it 😂😂

Jumpin Jive - Cab Calloway and the Nicholas Brothers, 1943

This is why mum left you dad

"Ref don’t forget to check their boots" 😂😂 Old but gold

Imagine being a jogger and unwrapping a present on Xmas day, hoping its a pair of compression socks and it turns out to be a phone bra. Keep the receipt.

For the weekend that’s in it! 👻 #IrishLifeDublinMarathon #PowerOfSupport

Got an email from a person who said he hacked my computer camera and recorded my sexual indiscretions. I had to pay in Bitcoin to avoid exposure. I am very old and my idea of porn is perfectly poached eggs on toast with black pepper. Also I have no camera. Felt flattered.

This is one of the best tries I’ve seen. Beautifully simple, yet brilliantly clever

Hear me out. A 5k race series in airport terminals around the country. The travelator gets turned on randomly throughout for a speed boost BUT may be also switch to reverse gear creating a surprise treadmill effect. @podium5k @EilishMccolgan @Mo_Farah @BritAthletics @sebcoe

When the only living thing on your property is the bacteria in your sex pond...

@HWrightComedy I went to a place that had a wifi password of 'whynottalkinstead' or something. why don't you mind your own fucking business you cunt

If you can't beat them....

Football's biggest names react to Real Madrid knocking out Man City in the UCL semi final!

When I'm doing the laundry I always assure my wife that I've done it on the necessary spin speed and settings depending what's going on. Bollocks. Same temperature, spin and program regardless of what's in there.

What a lovely gesture. Welsh try-scorer Josh Adams was given the man of the match award just before Italy's incredible comeback. He handed the honour over to Ange Capuozzo at the final whistle 👏 #WALITA reaction: https://t.co/CZ7xLhevwP #BBCRugby #SixNations

Met a guy at the park walking the dogs. He walked his there at the same time. We decided to come back to mine to fool about. After we finished I showed him out. I couldn't find 2 of the condoms we used. Found them the next morning. My dogs shat them out. At the park

Just been sent this from a colleague at one of our @EE warehouses – not the most glamorous pic, but that's not the point: 3,069 mobile powerbanks wrapped and ready to go, to be distributed to people displaced in Ukraine in partnership with the Red Cross or UNICEF.