I released two comedy specials this year. One hour of material with “White Privilege Homeless” and another hour of crowd work (on edibles) with “Huge Mistake.” Check them out and share with a friend if you like them.
WPH:
BM:
Neil Young is directing fans to Amazon Music, as streaming services that carry his music have been promoting it in the days since he pulled his content from Spotify over his criticism of podcaster Joe Rogan
I am 1 year without a sip of alcohol today. It started as an “in solidarity” thing with my wife during the pregnancy, and now I really enjoy being thin and not hungover. No idea how long I’ll go, but if you know me and how much I love booze, 1 year is wild.
Today is 3 years no booze. It started as a solidarity thing with my pregnant wife and now I enjoy having a jawline and no debilitating hangover. I’m also a better comic, husband and father or some shit.
My new favorite social media game is “Do nurses make enough money to travel internationally to 5 star resorts several times a year or is this girl I knew in high school an escort?”
Today marks 2 years since I’ve had a sip of alcohol. That’s 47 years quarantine time. I honestly can’t believe it. I’m a better husband, father and comic because of it. Also I have a jawline now. Thanks to none of my friends for their support!
4 years alcohol free today. I have my bachelors degree in being boring with a minor in functioning relationships with loved ones. Really great decision, I’m glad I made it.
Lol at the comics that see Shane’s firing as a personal victory for them. Just because he’s out of a job doesn’t mean you move up a spot or start performing at venues that are capable of paying you in anything besides hookah. You’re still exactly who you are.
At least Antonio Brown signing to the Patriots shows the kids of America that there are real consequences for your behavior and people are not rewarded for being spoiled pieces of shit.
Breaking: Guy who spikes the controller into pieces and punches a hole in the TV every time he loses a video game doesn’t understand why people are looting and destroying property in protest.
Dina Hashem is hilarious. If you’re a comedian that joins an outraged mob against a peer over a joke than you’re out. No negotiations. No apologies. Beat it. Go play golf.
We fled the city and highly recommend that every one else retreat to their second or third homes as well. Take this opportunity to reflect and appreciate how much better you (I) have it than others. Namaste 🙏🏼
Guys just stay inside and if things get tough, take a walk through one of your 3 gardens or blow off some steam in your 2,000 square foot home gym or sweat out the panic from not earning a livable wage in your infrared saunas. We can all be heroes!
Tom Brady knew coming back for one more year would result in his divorce. Now he gets to enjoy his retirement as a single, rich, sports legend. Yet again the goat executed down the stretch.
Just a reminder that Tim Allen was the original Tekashi69. Dude got busted with a ton of blow and immediately snitched. Now he’s buzz lightyear and Santa Clause.
Here’s the trailer to my 1st COMEDY SPECIAL! It comes out 1/24/2020 on - I need all the help I can get spreading the word so please RT/SHARE/develop a bot to continuously watch. I think it’s really good and I got some of my favorite comics ever to be in it
Today the Toronto mayor just resigned while I was onstage in Toronto and a podcast broke up while I was their guest. If anyone’s looking for a divorce invite me over for dinner.
JUST IN: Chaos breaks out in New York City after underground tunnels were discovered under the Chabad Lubavitch World Headquarters in Brooklyn.
The incident below reportedly took place to prevent a cement truck from filling the tunnels.
According to the Crown Heights Info, the…
I just heard someone proudly tell their friend about a Twitter fight that they “won” and it made me realize that there is a legal grey area when it comes to beheadings.
Quick everyone write the same joke about Louie releasing a special while everyone’s locked inside GO GO GO!!! Twitter is really the Seal Team 6 of hacks.
Welp we did it 🙏🏼 If you still need tix there may be some released in the next hour, so keep checking the site. Thank you to everyone who’s coming. I can’t wait.
#BREAKING
follow up: On her way into police custody Ghislaine Maxwell tripped and fell into a lion pit where she also shot herself 38 times in the head and chest.
When I talk passionately about comedy just understand that it’s the most important thing in my life and I will fight for it to the death. Now that that’s out of the way I’m performing in a crab restaurant in Delaware tonight. Come out!
Not enough credit is given to Ace Ventura 2. It’s a completely original premise, not a call back fest and funny as farts. The Rhino birthing scene! Top tier comedy sequel and everybody should talk about it more often than I assume they are.
Frank Rigaton American Hero is standing up to tyranny and opening his gym!!!
Thanks to
@realDonaldTrump
for the inspiration and guidance, especially medically.
Every day we wake up, we are given another opportunity & chance to be who we want & wish to be. I’ve spent the majority of my life growing in front of all of you… you’ve seen the good, the bad, & everything in between.
My wife’s best friend is pregnant now too. Their mothers were pregnant together and they’ve been snickering about it for weeks. I’m 100% convinced they planned this without my knowledge. This is the real Ocean’s 8: The Great Cum Heist.
My new special “White Privilege Homeless” is now LIVE on my YouTube. Like it, comment and share! This was 100% independently made. Directed and edited by
@nyvideoguy
with
@homelesspimp
on 2nd cam. They killed it. I’m really proud of it. I hope you like it.
These ppl are actors lol. Their flared nostrils and pregnant pauses don’t make this come off as “authentic” or “in the moment.” It’s literally acting class 101 tricks to make it seem like they give a shit. You’d think after “Imagine” they’d sit this 1 out
I just caught my wife refilling my mouth wash with generic CVS brand like she’s a bartender in the Dominican Republic. If I show up dead please delete my draft folder.
I sold out a comedy club this weekend bc you guys/gals/thems have been passing my special around to friends. That’s what it’s all about. I did this 100% independently and I’m continuing to roll out extra clips from the full hour. WATCH + SHARE
Dear LA podcasts -
Not everybody listens to your show in a Prius. Some of us are trying to hear you above the rumble and screeching of a subway or a neighboring Caribbean woman screaming at her drunk husband. Raise your levels please. Thanks.
Love,
A very specific listener
Actor Chadwick Boseman, who played Black icons Jackie Robinson and James Brown before finding fame as the regal Black Panther in the Marvel cinematic universe, died Friday of cancer, his representative said. He was 43.
Getting a joke removed from TikTok for being offensive is actually a pretty nice compliment since they survive on 14 year olds dancing with their assholes out in the wind