High Dwarf
@high_dwarf
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Imagine “Somewhere over the..” playing in the bground like Myspace profile music🔥🍃💨 cuz I’m ya know… #cool #sarcastic #420 #ironic #random #LP #funny #usa
New England
Joined January 2017
Does anybody else meal prep to make sure future you eats way better than present you?
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Him: So I found a penny today while at my MRI. 1942. It was a wheat penny. Me: Are you autistic? Him: What? Me: Nothing
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Me: What an awkward portion Him: Why? Me: what did the waiter say, ‘20 chicken fingers in one order?!’ Him: …How many were you expecting? Me: idk like 7
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Zero motivation. No spring in my step. 100% disinterested. Time for a 10hr shift
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Kinda wanna switch to decaf and see if my boss still notices that I worry about how moot everything is 🚬
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Coworker farted in front of me yesterday; no one else around (nearly closed). Tell me why she’s now prancing around work saying how ‘That’s The most embarrassed she’s EVER felt “EVER?!”’— omg Girl’s forty six and still charging admission 💅🏼✨🎟️ 👀
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I bet he kept a lock of Jocelyn Nungaray’s hair— she was 12. I hope he rots. She looked Jewish.
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Can’t remember what this strain is, but it’d be great if I could stop talking out loud to myself at work 😂
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Word of advice to my overzealous sales manager: stop noticing that you’re always https://t.co/uzzaOf7ppy’ll get sooo much easier.
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Burned the back of my hand taking dinner out the oven & immediately got emotional-only cuz I KNEW it would leave a mark…and now someone’s gonna make me chit chat about it at my silly little job… Theeeeeenn it hurt like a bitch and I need kisses p&ty 🥺🐷
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Today I rolled my eyes so often at work, I needed a Tylenol for the widdle headache it caused lol
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