MV MATTHEW
@handsblinx
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BUILD INFINITY OF LUVE
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@BramhamAlex
@Erebusex
Alex you clearly have a learning disability your civil partner is a white supremacist who has taken advantage of your current grift you should seek advice and assistance you have been groomed
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@TonyDicicco4
@TessdelaMare
if it hadn’t been for voters not voting for them the Tories would have won these by-elections
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@Joni180366
@missdaisyfdoo
@libbyemmons
@bugbrennan
maybe she could provide some actual facts to refute
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Rishi Sunak went to McDonald’s and ordered a Big Macdonald please
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@dyslexialady
@MomentAwake
@LaurenAlder
@georgegalloway
was the thousands of troops massing at the border not evidence enough for you
were you waiting for a phone call from high command
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DEAD MOTHERS DAY MORE LIKE haha
no but seriously tho I’ve smoked a joint in her honour and put her favourite flaars in her vase
the overwhelming feeling of the day is (and of this I know she would heartily approve) that it is, actually, an absolute fucking joy to be alive
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Jodie Foster walking into her hometown pub at Christmas and seeing all the lads who never left
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if meat loaf were around today he’d have to haha he’d have to be haha have to be called Nutloaf or Beyond Meat Loaf or Plant Based Loaf or Lettuce Leaf
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Rishi : I’m really passionate about being Prime Minister I work well on my own or as part of a team
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@townsendyesmate
split the cutlery do all knives, all forks etc goes quicker and a fun game to boot
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@ChrisHittel
@nonbinarycowboy
Maybe your mother should have been more afraid of getting pregnant. Creating credulous morons is an industry of which you are the victim,
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@ramtops
@airduster400
@HarrietSergeant
@iainmartin1
apart from the fact it does not sound at all believable
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I know two women who went to turkey and they were in the bath and someone knocked on the door and they said who is it and he said that he was blind and they said come in but when he came in he was here to actually fix blinds and he stared at their soapy tits when he came in true.
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@swanage123
you get free tea and coffee at work now people don’t need a thermos
we eat other things apart from sandwiches for lunch because we don’t get home til 8 or 9 and don’t have time to cook a proper meal
we don’t have wives at home or housekeepers
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@RoisinMichaux
@WrathQueenof
@JerryStillman
the rape and murder of a sixteen year old is funny to you?
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dreamt Laurence Fox bullied me into buying him a bmx but he rode around like a cunt and got taken out by a bin lorry everyone was pleased
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sitting with my mum who is very near the end of her life
she was diagnosed Friday before last was discharged last Wednesday and has deteriorated hour by hour since then
every change has needed a new accommodation to ease her pain and distress
I’ve lived months in these days
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my mum died a year ago tomorrow which is two days before her birthday which this year is also Mother’s Day
efficient what
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that’s not that’s not even an insult it’s just got the word wang in it
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man’s got an out of the blue audition
alright calm down the universe
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@RomeoAlphaMike
@sademogirl69
he imprisoned a man tied him to a radiator and beat him with metal chains Roy
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A QUEEN
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oh no the office has been evacuated so I’ve had to stop at a lovely little cafe and have a lovely big breakfast
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wtf
@BootstrapCook
Remember why. A desperate mum in tears & lost for supper ideas & the utensils to make it, reads your book & gets a glimmer, a tiny spark of hope. She can be resourceful, she can do it. She can provide. Thanks to you. They may not shout on here as loud but they do exist x
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@OwenJones84
hi Owen I call myself a homosexual or just a homo as I didn’t really chime with the word gay
‘gay’ came loaded with lots of expectations I seemed to fail to fulfil so I stopped using it
trans women are women and trans men are men
we are out here
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turns out the best thing for ailing old ladies is spliffs
who knew
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it’s been long cause I’ve not been well but taking my boy on his first commute this morning
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not my landlord waiving my last two weeks rent cause I wasn’t actually living there also waiving the ‘professional clean’ at end of tenancy stipulation as ‘it’ll need a refurb anyway’
Floored m8
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sat in another man’s piss at Charing Cross and now it gently seeping into my underwear as I sit on a train sipping a can of premixed whisky sour
I’ve got the London look about me
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My niece and her boyfriend who’s a member of the crew on the USS Nostromo asked me to babysit
Sorry mate it’s for his own good.
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