Gabriel Alexander 🖕🏽👅
@gabe209alex
Followers
231
Following
16K
Media
887
Statuses
7K
When life gives you lemons... plant the seeds so, you can help life give other people lemons.
Sacramento, CA
Joined June 2020
Thank you MAMBA for finally putting all 4 flavors in every pack.
0
1
3
This Tuesday the fireworks in my neighborhood better be amazing! They've been practicing since fucking February.
0
0
1
You know how many times I've told my neighbors rooster to shut up!?! I'm starting to think it doesn't understand English... or Spanish!
0
2
2
My toxic trait: Anytime I make a woman cum I immediately play, "We are the champions" by Queen.
0
0
1
If I had a dollar for everytime I stood in a doorway and said I was sorry for something... I'd have enough money to afford another divorce.
0
1
1
The problem is everyone without kids wants to tell people with kids how to raise them, but don't wanna pay child support... If you got something to say about my parenting drop on my PG&E and I swear I'll hear you out.
0
0
1
Can we all take a second to appreciate the genius who was eating almonds and thought, "You know what would be good with this? Chocolate."
0
1
1
If I had a nickel for every post I saw mentioning @mattrife I'd have like $7.55 #WhyIsEveryoneHating
0
0
1
I'm still waiting for a bar fight to break out while "Click Click Boom" plays in the background.
0
1
1
I smoked weed last night and thought about how crazy it is to be the President of the United States?!? You're in complete control of "The Button" ... I couldn't... I press on my own bruises! I know I'd be tempted.
1
0
2
From now on I will be calling my sperm "Meat Honey"
0
1
1