My boss @realDonaldTrump has given me a new job as a scientist- to figure out why the light bulbs make him look orange. That’s a tough assignment!.#trump.#orangetrump.

I have been a prisoner at a North Korean salt mine for the last 2 years and since I got back to the White House spending my time searching for Ben Carson. So I just heard that my boss was impeached. I’ve been told it’s a hoax!.#ImpeachmentTrial .#ImpeachmentHoax.

I remember exactly where I was when this was discovered. Amazing!

I’ve employed my cutting edge science of #interplanetaryturbowaxing to run #SuperBowl54 simulations and have concluded that neither team will win, which is very odd but could have revolutionary implications if true! #SuperBowl .#SuperBowl2020.

Apparently the Chinese government tried this once. It ended badly for the elephants so now we know!

The Journal Nature is a very bad scientific journal. They refuse to even consider publishing my letters to the editor and scoff at the science that I’ve pioneered- Interplanetary Turbo Waxing!.#journalnature.#fakescience.

Here is incontrovertible proof of the legendary Saharan Tree Mouse. The zoological community refuses to believe in its existence and has black balled me! When I capture it they will be amazed!.#sciencetwitter .#sciencehacks

My first task since arriving back to the White House after two years of hard labor in a North Korean salt mine is to locate Ben Carson. Has anyone seen him?.#bencarson.#NorthKorea .#TeamTrump.

I have many projects that I will be working on with my generous grant money from the FINFICALOM Foundation, the Trump Org & the RNC!.1) Reverse DNA Engineering.2) The #Globalcooling threat.3) Interplanetary turbo waxing.4) Capture of elusive Saharan Tree Mouse.5) #Bigfoot.

I was just released from a North Korean salt mine and I’m back at the White House! I have an ambitious slate of scientific projects that should help Team Trump in this years election! Stay tuned. #TeamTrump.

Witch Hunt's have real world consequences, just ask the Witches of Salem! Those were real witches. Mueller should know that it's scientifically proven witches are females. @realDonaldTrump is very male, therefore not a witch! Stop the hunt!. #fakedirtydossier #muellerwitchhunt.

During the incredible summit in Helsinki, @realDonaldTrump and The Honorable President Putin (one of my scientific benefactors) have teamed up to set a plan in motion to drill through the entire earth- just to see what will happen! #Helsinkisummit.

Fake News! There is no scale large enough to put all humans on it, so can't be measured. Nice try Mainstream Science Community but not buying it!

I will be meeting with @realDonaldTrump and his great team next week to present my findings! Me.Trump wanted me to capture one of the critters and I failed at that, but did get a blurry pic and found some tracks! Exciting!.

It's been almost a year and a half, but I'm back! Was in The Sahara, living with Bedoins and tracking the very rare, very mysterious Saharan Tree Mouse. Funding came from the Koch Brothers Network as a favor for previous work. More to come!.

Well duh it's because it's super duper top secret. PriceWaterHouseCooper has the plan in a lockbox buried ten feet in an underground vault!

I'm now following Katy Perry. I'm doing this simply to keep an eye on her.

New scientific study shows that too much exposure to CNN, NY Times and Politico can lead to severe diarrhea. Frightening!.

I've begun research to see why other mammals aren't ticklish. I need some help to hold down a deer while I tickle it. I'll report findings.

This is very much a myth! It just so happens that I've collected data on this and researched it.