Excuse me, waiter. Is my order almost ready to Instagram? http://t.co/nq55Xq3CsP

It's pretty racist that Denzel Washington keeps getting typecasted as black men. http://t.co/ybfPPnWkRN

http://t.co/rTjrFYIIex "It's payback time, bitches!" - What I think every morning now that I wake my kids up.

http://t.co/Bkvszs3OA3 When I see someone pushing a dog in a stroller I understand why the news is filled with murder.

Christmas is my favorite four months of the year. http://t.co/Idh4cOv0