Got the worst news I’ve ever gotten last week. My mom and I made each other cry laughing all the time. I hate to think about all the deals she’s going to miss out on. I hope she guides me to the best sales forever.
The thing that has most cheered me up this week is revisiting my mom’s greatest hits on Twitter. I’m so glad I kept tweeting about her even after she told me to stop.
Mom pretending to go to church in Central PA to steal the church’s recipe for chocolate eggs so I could remake the chocolate eggs myself and sell them on Wall Street…is that Christlike behavior???
[Incoming call from MOM CELL]
Me: (answering phone) “Hi Mom!”
Mom: (in the tone of someone who has just been interrupted) “Hold on—I’m eating peanuts.”
I asked my friends to send me recollections of stories about my mom on Instagram. There were so many hilarious ones I had forgotten about but this one is my favorite. I do remember her doing this, but not where she was stealing the dirt from. Nor why! But I’m sure it made sense.