Anyone else find it weird yesterday that after two plus years of being told to just trust the science all of a sudden we're going to the groundhog for weather predictions?
It is truly amazing how a person who felt at times like he had one friend in the world, can almost a decade after he retired from could still fill the hard rock with people he brought joy
I Dropped this dudes organic chem class my sophomore year and in the why section I wrote "Seems like a dog fucker" and had to meet with my academic advisor. I'd like my restitution
Remember when all the comics were attacking that Fat Dyke who spent her whole special talking about getting raped not telling jokes. Since she was more focused on being right and lost sight of being a comedian? One sucker punch turned a lot of people into Fat Dykes...Well Dykes
AARON RODGERS: "When Trump in 2020 was championing these vaccines, what did the left say? Don't trust the vaccine. Don't get the vaccine... What happened? Biden wins and everything flips. Shouldn't that give you a little bit of pause?... Isn't this about health, not politics?"
Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, you really know how to make a guy feel loved! Got to close out a great day doing a spot with
@BurningBrennan
It is easier to find heroin, cocaine, and women for sale in
#AtlanticCity
than it is chewing tobacco. I know because I bought all three on my walk to find chewing tobacco
I'm not legally able to tell you this will make 2020 worthwhile, but nothing can stop me from saying it might!
7pm
What a good excuse to hide from your family and laugh!
(DM for discount codes)
Its a mean world, everyone could use a little more weed in their life So Available At 10pm free on Youtube:
How Could You Forget 420 (2023 Edition)!!!
With
@funnygirlwtits
@MaxMarcusComedy
@jokesdecarl
and more
Having MANDATORY training meetings to address employee happiness is a level of irony I'll never understand. I've never been less happy than while sitting through this shit
Today I overheard a co-worker snitching to my supervisor (who I've battled with in the past) about me wearing a purple hoodie over our green uniform shirts.
The supervisor told him "trust me this isn't worth the fight, and ramifications"
I have reached my peak in retail 🐐🐐🐐
Had a very fun time last night at Frantic thanks to
@aaronbergcomedy
for the time, and
@LubiPopovic
for being the best friend and biggest fan someone could ask for.
With Ye inspiring all this discussion, it feels important to remind everyone that there are worse people than Hitler...like Mao Zedong or that fat cunt Lori that works at Hertz at the Harrisburg international airport
Oh goodness, would you look at who made the news....
Make sure you check out
@JeffreyGurian
's piece on Uncancellable records with
@aaronbergcomedy
and that you buy our latest album by
@DeathCripps
New look brought to you by
@MichelobULTRA
@badbirdiegolf
and
@JoNosuchinsky
and
@tarajakewaytv
lack of knowledge about "the break-up"
I don't know what this new phase of my life holds, but it's going to be dope and probably end with some horrible birddog pants related injury
My parents used to say "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life"
I chose comedian, and boy were they more accurate than they ever could have imagined.
In a desperate attempt to find any semblance of the Christmas spirit I've been watching movies all day while I work. What follows is my review of each. Feel free to add recommendations or your thoughts
#Christmas
#ChristmasSpirit
Today at 2 p.m. and 10 p.m. est on Raw Dog Sirius XM, you can hear
@aaronbergcomedy
new special. He is one of the funniest, hardworking, and nicest people I've met in comedy. Listen to his special so you can talk about it before your friends, because they will be....
Then try some cocaine and whiskey, because this shit is fucking boring. You are funnier than this, One sucker punch is turning comedians whose only goal was being funny into the Carbdashians.
We both have benefitted from his generosity financially and stage time. Why attack him?
Booker: "Hey Figs wanna be on this show?"
Figs: "yeah man I'll be there"
Booker:"okay all you have to do is get off of work and show up!"
@ComicMikeFigs
Hey Retard! Learn to respond to the right thread....
Also I am 'the donkey of comedy being a snob' so quite literally you mentioned me, but I think the real question is who the fuck are you. Because you dont work for the show, you dont work for the network, so if you're going to
Can
@frankiemacd
do this!!! CAN HE!!
@aaronbergcomedy
BALLS ON MY SHOULDER AND I STILL DELIVER! “Oh no figs were moving in a different direction...” he says, KISS MY ASS! Waterheads!
It's hard to argue you are enforcing something for the public's health when the means you use are far more dangerous than the potential problem in the first place
#PawPatrol
#COVID19BC
#copolitics
BREAKING: Rebel News reporter David Menzies (
@TheMenzoid
) was brutally arrested by police after he tried to ask Chrystia Freeland questions.
Visit Rebel News for more on this story:
Damn,
@DeathCripps
was stand up comedys version of Warren Zevons The Wind dealing with the struggles of his situation and making art out of it. I guess Black Earl must have had some influence because this is the laziest list I've seen in years. There's still time
#writeInCripp
.
@NickeyHuntsmanx
For months I have been subjected to the human cancer tumor that is
@StancilJim
because he is a guest on
@SteveContiDAGOD
s
#theDump
every Tuesday. There is a long documented history of me trying to prevent his wake of nauseousness from affecting innocent people
I genuinely could not care less who Taylor Swift endorses, but I will say the person who built her career writing songs about how bad her ex-boyfriends were isn't who I Look to for advice when it comes to choosing the man in charge of telling me what to do
#TaylorSwift