Here's my just-published, dorky travelogue on all the colonial-era/Empire State awesomeness that's available to tour, tavern & taste during America's upcoming 250th... cc: @ILoveNYPR https://t.co/d5rCGTKIQe

Welp? @CNN’s “I’m Chevy Chase & You’re Not” docu is amazing. Spoiler: He’s still an asshole. But also a fascinating dude.

PS I didn't HATE "Superman". Too many characters. Too many bells & whistles. But I expected nothing & was semi-pleasantly surprised. Welp? Told @AlfredSchulz that. As a result he expected a LOT. Aaaaand hated it.

Whichever that actress is that's playing Supergirl seems cute. But I'm already sick of the goddamn dog...

The one time I did a New Years Eve broadcast was during the #RedEye days. I remember this: Sabrina the Teenage Witch was somehow on set. And I went to a party with @megynkelly afterwards. It was the first time I hung out with @LaurenSivan. (Worst. Life. Changing. Night. EVER.)

I don't like superhero movies anymore. I guess I finally grew up? At goddamn FIFTY?? But I will say this: Deadpool & Wolverine is one of the funnier movies in the 21st century.

The Times Square New Year's Eve ball drop tradition is inspired by the South Street Seaport's Titanic Memorial Lighthouse that was built by one Molly Brown...

New York is the absolute WORST PLACE ON PLANET EARTH to be at on New Years Eve. As a result? Havent left my place all day. And watching "Hard Days Night". It's still kinda silly humor BRILLIANT.

PS "Speakeasies" is kind of a hilarious term. For the most part? Bars were as open/obvious as delis. As long as the neighborhood cops were paid off.

I could care less about 2026. Buuut it is the hundredth anniversary of NYC at its PEAK when it came to "FUCK YOU, PROHIBITION" business. We had reached our apex of over 30,000 speakeasies.

"I'm saying here I am now! How are you?...Wasn't the 70s a drag?... Well, let's try and make the 80s good." -John Lennon in a 1980 interview, several hours before he was murdered. #HappyNewYear

cc: EVERYONE in Chicago right now...

I enjoyed the opening pick six via Sunday's @ChicagoBears/@49ers insanity. In a weird way it reminds me of the only highlight we had in Super Bowl XLI:

The worst times to be in NYC in this order: Saint Patrick's Day, New Years Eve, any other goddamn parade that happens.

@ChicagoBears @Patriots And the thing that makes me sick to my stomach? @49ers / @Patriots Super Bowl. (With New England destroying them.)

And I'm a realist/@ChicagoBears fan. Enjoying the ride. But I swear to God: If the goddamn @Patriots win it all? I'm finding a way to nuke New England.

"Parity" has been a thing for a while. But good Lord, there has never been an @nfl season like this one. Where everyone kinda sucks enough to possibly still hit the Super Bowl.

I loathe New Year's Eve. But if this little shit is sleeping over at my parent's place on that otherwise awful holiday? Uncle Bill is gonna crash as well. Get ready to be annoyed, Helen...

Leo to PTA: "He's not doing ANYTHING." (Yep!)

PS You can FEEL how much Paul Rudd hates himself for continuing to do the "Mac & Me" bit. (This has been a 30-plus year old thing.)

Look: We all feel like shit. But? This will make you feel a LOT better...