"Next time when you get a million money can you get a cyber truck?"

"WHATS THAT PLACE ALL OVER THE PLACE UP BY YOU?? SLITTERS or SHITTERS?? "Sheetz?"

Re: Travis Kelce My dad: "WHATS THAT WOMAN HE DATES??"

You know you're an adult when you start liking meatloaf

"I have an EMERGENCY.🚨 I can't find my yellow school bus."

Calvin: "Dean you're getting water on my iPad you need to be careful." D: "it's MY iPad." C: "it's my iPad. You need to be careful." D: "it's OUR iPad." C: "Dean. Please listen. You need to be careful." D: "okay but can it be *our* iPad?"

"Alexa tell Veronicon she's stinky" 😭

"Red wine feels like a studying wine" - calc supporting my life choices of studying with a glass of red on the table

Today my boss put me on hold so he could go let his cook inside. HIS COOK.

But I apparently can't proof read

Just went to Aldi and I my grocery bags AND my quarter. So if you are wondering if I am better than everyone the answer is yes

💡oh right most ex spouses don't go on vacation together

My therapist 45 mins into our session today: "so when exactly did your parents get remarried?" Me: what Her: whT Me: what

family vacations always remind me why I'm in therapy lmao 😅

texting with boomers

Am I ... better than everyone?

Calvin in his sleep last night, and me immediately texting him about it so I wouldn't forget

Never gets old 😭💜

Congrats girls!

when ur only meeting for the day is cancelled