Chuck Norris Profile
Chuck Norris

@thechucknorris

Followers
102
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Statuses
21

Kickin Ass
Joined January 2009
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
13 years
‘merica
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
13 years
If I step on a Lego, the Lego bleeds.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
13 years
I follow nobody.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
13 years
I can punch you in the back of your face.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
There were no giraffes till I uppercutted a horse.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
Last night I got a little too drunk and walked through a brick wall. I know most people usually walk through glass but that's just too easy.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
Jesus is a fraud ... I am the real son of God.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
A "Chuck-a-thon" includes roundhouse kicking your way across America while juggling three hand guns and one grenade. I can't wait to start.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
I don't do pushups, I push down the Earth.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
I can lick my elbow. Can you??
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
The UFC won't let me in because I can't win by death.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
In the game of Monopoly, you get to start off with all the money and I get all the properties each with a hotel. It's called Chuckopoly
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
My skin is bullet proof, My beard can cut glass, If you try and escape prison, You'd better watch your ass!
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
I don't get headaches, I give headaches.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
I tackled the doc to the ground and broke his arm in three places. The doctor said 'Mrs Norris your baby appears very heathy'. My 1st memory
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
The television series entitled 24, is meant to be a loose account of my life. The only change is that my life is one long day.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
If you have 5 dollars and I have 5 dollars, I have more money than you.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
I don't go hunting, I go killing
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
I don't sleep, I wait.
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@thechucknorris
Chuck Norris
17 years
Made all the links on my webpage red. Had to settle on red because Twitter would not let me choose blood as a color. Not impressed at all.
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