Tarquin Vas Deferens
@TarquinVas
Followers
2,232
Following
2,349
Media
1,150
Statuses
13,070
Head of the ABC’s Race Division Division; Left activist (obvs); gender fluid; queer. Pronouns - zhe/zhim; Blak activist; Vegan. Renting stolen land. Parody.
On Stolen Land (but renting)
Joined July 2021
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
チリちゃん
• 67322 Tweets
アルレッキーノ
• 62122 Tweets
#خادم_الحرمين_الشريفين
• 38865 Tweets
#プロセカ放送局
• 38595 Tweets
سلمان بن عبدالعزيز
• 21599 Tweets
#الملك_سلمان_بن_عبدالعزيز
• 13211 Tweets
ハマスタ
• 12394 Tweets
アマンテビアンコ
• 12190 Tweets
マリノス
• 10043 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
I am a Very Serious Young Stick Insect, Homosexualista About Town and Blaktavist, First People people DeColonialisting and Anti-Genocidificationing advocate who heads up the ABC's Race Division Division.
I am also a Vegan, so I am morally superior to you.
16
4
86
Not having Ricky Gervais host the Oscars this year is a real slap in the face.
#Oscars
#Oscars2022
39
89
1K
If ever you wanted proof of just how racist Australia is, just look at the booing of Adam Goodes.
I can never understand, though, why the crowds didn't boo all the other 87 Aboriginal players at the time.
Weird.
122
37
500
Urgent announcement for all ABC staff:
Following the success of Geert Wilders in the Dutch elections, the Crying Rooms on all floors will be open until 9pm.
Weeping is limited to 5 minutes; hysterical screaming to 3 minutes so we can get through all staff.
Thank-you.
38
77
442
OK, everyone, we at the ABC are running out of ideas for how to get the Yes vote over the line.
We tried obfuscating about the ramifications, we tried making it about love and acceptance, we tried celebrities, and we tried calling you all racists and cookers.
Any suggestions?
191
67
413
Anyone who criticises respected elder, Brittany Higgins, must now be considered a racist.
57
40
383
@PatsKarvelas
It's appalling! Next thing you know, they'll be spitting in people's faces!
Disgusting.
10
17
376
We at the ABC and SBS have chosen not to show the video footage of Yes campaigners heckling No campaigners in Adelaide shouting 'Racists!' and 'Nazi scum'.
You see, we want to maintain the image that the Yes voters are nicer and morally superior.
40
90
294
BREAKING:
The ABC has dropped all scheduled programming to run the Scott Morrison scandal live on all TV and radio stations uninterrupted.
We apologise and will bring you our scheduled stories on racism, ableism, misogyny and homophobia on another occasion.
21
39
274
Could someone help clarify, folx: are these the evil, violent, black-clad, neo-Nazis we've been hearing about or are they the nice, kind ones we at the ABC like?
46
62
270
Someone just wished me a happy Australia Day.
No trigger warning. Nothing. I am deeply traumatised and am now, as we speak, lying in the foetal position gently rocking and quietly crying in the ABC's Crying Room.
40
18
252
If respected elder Aunty Brittany Higgins came out publicly in favour of the Voice to Parliament, I think even more people would come on board.
49
39
247
We at the ABC have chosen to retain a dignified silence regarding the latest Lidia Thorpe contretemps and not report it.
We do this out of deference for this proud First People person and the dignified silence she always exhibits at all times.
42
24
242
I am literally shaking and crying right now at what misogynists and racists are doing to Lidia Thorpe.
272
20
234
@RoadknightThe
Why on earth would we at the ABC do a story on the 52% of Australians who are Christian when we can do a story on the 2% that is Muslim?
19
43
234
What is wrong with people? Nuclear submarines? Why not solar powered or by wind turbines??
#SayNoToNuclear
89
23
207
Lidia Thorpe is a hero.
Her rational, considered and calm debate; her attempts to reconcile First People people with non-First People people; her conciliatory tones; her impassioned way of uniting and bringing together a country divided will see her remembered for centuries.
150
18
213
@rachelrwithers
I have alerted my staff in the ABC's Race Division Division to drop everything to help you in your request.
We simply cannot allow an Aboriginal woman to derail the 'Yes' campaign. We must find as much dirt on her as possible.
If we can't debate, let's play the man/woman!
7
15
210
Oh my goodness!
The whole make-up department at the ABC has just walked out in support of Stan Grant!
#IstandWithStan
42
26
201
We in the ABC's Race Division Division will keep this story of the racial abuse of children going for months.
As you'd expect, we will not be treating the physical and sexual abuse of children in remote areas the same.
Too icky to talk about, m'kay?
47
48
211
It's a pity Thomas Mayo isn't on the 'No' side.
We could call him and his supporters: The Mayo Nays.
(I crack myself up!)
26
22
198
Yass! Represent! This proud respected elder, Aunty Brittany Higgins, is incredible!
41
40
198
Naturally and as you'd expect, we at the ABC won't be repeating what the knife attacker was claimed to have shouted.
21
24
186
I have just found out there is a town called 'Coonabarabran'.
I am literally in tears over this flagrant racism.
63
8
173
ABC management is currently in crisis talks following the decision to cut The Drum from TV programming.
It is hoped that a cheaper version can be produced: The Tambourine.
40
24
170
I am horrified at this.
Now try to tell me this country isn't filthy with blatant racism.
107
19
158
Stan Grant will always be revered as a God by us at the ABC.
He has done more for racism than anyone else could. His legacy will live on for decades.
I just hope that we in the ABC's Race Division Division can accomplish just 1% of what he has.
149
23
160
To be clear: if a person identifies as Indigenous, then they are Indigenous, even if their other family members and the tribe to which they claim to belong say they're not, and if you also say they're not, then just maybe you're a racist.
87
20
153
Yass, sistahs! Represent!
I bet no-one could have guessed there are lesbians in the Matildas!
117
16
137
I've just found out that the winner of Bathurst will be based on race.
Horrified.
21
9
135
Hannah Gadsby is a hero to all LGBTIAQ+s.
And you don't have to be funny to be a comedian.
We at the ABC have an open invitation for her to appear any time she wants. She's perfect for the ABC.
64
12
138
We're hiring!
The ABC is looking for a new host for Q&A.
Applicants should be at least two of the following: a First People person; other PoC; LGBTIAQ+; Physically challenged (including deaf/mute).
The ABC is an equal opportunitah employer.
28
22
131
We at the ABC won't be covering this story.
7
28
122
Hey PRGuy, everyone's worried, especially here at the ABC.
You haven't tweeted in 18 hours.
Reach out, if you need help. We're all here for you.
15
9
118
In keeping with the ABC's recent decision to rename 'Fairy Penguins' as 'Little Penguins' to avoid offending the LGBTIAQ+ communitah, we will now refer to 'Port Fairy' as 'Little Port'.
Unfortunately, a traditional First People's name hasn't been invented yet.
22
19
127
It's Sunday and the ABC's Stan Grant will not be issuing his usual sermon on racism on our website.
I will be opening the ground floor Crying Room at 11am.
Should demand exceed space, please proceed to the Crying Rooms on floors 2-17. Counselling is also available.
Thank-you.
10
15
123
Following criticism of the Acknowledgement to Country on The Block and Masked Singer shows, the ABC has committed to out-woke the woke.
Every ABC program will start with an Acknowledgement, a Welcome to Country and an Apology.
As such, the 7pm news will now start at 7.29pm.
24
18
114
At this stage, the only thing the whole sordid Higgins-Lehrmann story doesn't have is racism (politics, drugs, alcohol, sexual assault, prostitutes, big money and homophobia).
And, trust me: we at the ABC are working hard to find a racism angle.
32
9
126
After we have installed the Voice to Parliament for a separate race-based First People person chamber, we should further unite the country with distinct 'countries' for each tribe.
Each tribe would have complete authoritah over its 'country'. /2
38
26
121
Just because you don't have any First People people in your ancestry doesn't mean you aren't a First People person and, if you don't have First People people ancestry and someone says you're not a First People person then maybe they're a racist.
49
20
115
YOU'RE ALL NASTY, FILTHY RACISTS!
(The above is an official statement from the ABC)
15
10
117
There's a lot of reasons to vote Yes, but the best one is that if the referendum doesn't pass, we at the ABC will tell you all what horrible racists you all are, day in, day out, and will keep it going pretty much forever.
But you probably knew this.
22
10
117
The sort of person who says Gina Rinehart shouldn't be held responsible for her father's racist views is the sort of person who says white Australians shouldn't be held responsible for 200+ years of racism towards Indigenous people.
That's just crazy thinking!
68
18
115
Just a reminder, folx, after The Project debacle: any criticism of Kamahl is racism; any criticism of Hamish McDonald is homophobia.
I don't make these rules up. That's just the way it is.
14
14
114
Indians, Asians, Africans and Middle Eastern folx are over-represented in drownings in Australia.
Is it time to ask what role racism plays in all of this?
64
13
116
"Bruce Lehrmann's former colleague has told the Federal Court she had "bad vibes" about him and she had decided not to socialise with him based on her "women's intuition"."
That, alone, should be enough for charges to be brought.
#BelieveAllWomen
77
9
115
No more Welcome to Country acknowledgements?!
Professor Marcia Langton warned you about this and you wouldn't listen!
So, now all local First People people will be relegated to the same status as Subsequent People people!
Where's the equalitah in that??
20
20
116
Notice to all ABC employees:
Following Stan Grant's resignation, a wake will be held in Studio 2 at 5pm.
BYO vegan snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and wear black.
30
16
110
I am so excited about the First People people's Voice to Parliament!
As soon as that's passed, we really need to have an LGBTIAQ+ Voice. After all, we're 5% of the population and First People people are just 3%.
It's only reasonable.
31
21
102
Now that Brittany Higgins identifies as a First People person, I think we should all show her the respect she deserves as a leader and cultural ambassador and refer to her as 'Aunty Brittany'.
Brittany Higgins identifies as Aboriginal
32
17
56
17
16
110
The new ABC Chair Will be Kim Williams, a white, cisgendered, heteronormative, middle-aged man.
I am literallah crying right now.
40
5
109
There are more LGBTIAQs than Indigenous, so we should also have a Voice to Parliament.
And more Asians. And more Catholics.
We should ALL have a Voice!
So, why don't we have an election every 4 years, anyone can be a candidate, and everyone votes!
We ALL get a Voice! Genius!
23
20
109
MEMO TO ALL ABC STAFF:
It's open season on Ben Roberts-Smith!
If there's anyone we hate more than those who are richer and more successful than us, it's those who are braver than us.
Let's Pell and Porter this middle-aged cisgendered, heteronormative man into oblivion!
26
19
103
@Anthonywodillon
I'm perplexed. $300m in mining royalties over seven years from Gina Rinehart's companies went to Traditional Owners.
Shouldn't they be rejecting this tainted money, too?
I would!
(I am a blak activists, btw)
14
15
102
I am so pleased that Qantas does an Acknowledgement of Country on their planes.
I actually sent them the suggestion: 'We acknowledge the flightpaths of Traditional Owners past, present and emerging who have travelled these routes since the Dreamtime.'
13
11
107
"If I'm only known for football, I've failed," Goodes said.
He hasn't failed. He's done more for racism than any other AFL player.
Represent, Adam!
75
5
105
I am disappointed that the commentary on Bathurst used the term 'Race Officials'.
It is, of course, the ABC who are the only race officials in this country.
16
13
98
Racism. There can be no other explanation.
41
8
99
This is posing quite the conundrum for us at the ABC.
Do we take the side of the trans surfer or the disabled one?
Does anyone know if either identifies as a First People person?
Imagine, dropping a phenomenal professional surfer, who survived a shark biting her arm off, only to replace her with a man who pretends to be a woman. 🤦♀️Guess what my followers and I will be doing? We will all
#BoycottRipCurl
Will you?
527
3K
14K
14
20
103
Just to clarify about Ernie Dingo and the Welcome to Country Ceremony: it was invented 120,000 years ago when First Nations came to Australia.
Ernie just popularised it in 1976. For cultural reasons it was not performed prior at Royal Visits, opening of Parliament /2
39
14
98
Fun fact while Naarm is trending: 'Naarm' is an ancient traditional Woi Wurrung word meaning 'place of tall buildings'.
30
5
96
While we're at it, let's rename the Melbourne Cup the 'Naarm Cup'.
55
2
94
Why weren't there any transmen playing in the AFL Grand Final?
Bigotry. That's why.
22
11
89
To the racists saying this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black, think again!
15
14
92
@RoadknightThe
Obviously, we at the ABC won't be backgrounding his alleged attacker in case... well, you know - uncomfortable truths.
3
4
94
This is both stunning and brave, especially at a time when queer, non-binary womxn are so rare in sports, especially soccer and football.
You'll only see these stories on the ABC because no-one else cares in other media.
87
10
92
I don't get
#cookers
as an insulting term.
Are we now starting to use kitchen appliance names as insults?
Why not then 'Gas Oven', 'Double-door Fridge' or even 'Breville Sandwichmaker' or am I being a bit of an Induction Stove here?
33
4
86
"Mr Porter had long been touted as a potential future prime minister but...." we at the ABC nobbled him good and proper.
We are, after all, judge, jury and executioner and proudly so (erm, 'cept when it comes to our Labor and Greens mates, 'course).
14
28
86
Maybe, just maybe, Lidia Thorpe used an encrypted messaging app because she was discussing Secret Women's Business?
Did you think of that??
23
10
84
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Following the retirement of Rupert Murdoch, 474 staff employed in the ABC's MHD (Murdoch Hate Dept.) will be moved to the Race Division Division.
We have a referendum to win, folx.
11
13
90
We at the ABC are withholding any stories on Geert Wilders likely becoming the next Dutch PM until we have worked out more ways to say 'nationalistic', 'fascist', 'far-right', 'populist', 'trump-like', 'anti-immigration' and, of course, 'racist'.
Stay tuned.
13
13
84
O!M!G! I have just solved Global Warming!
M'kay, so if we decrease Daylight Saving for one more hour then that's one less hour the sun is hitting the Earth and warming it!
Why hasn't anyone else thought of this??
Yass!
19
10
81
In response to the resignation of Jacinda Adern, the ABC has shifted 106 staff members to a dedicated department to eulogise her Prime Ministership of NZ.
Initial reports have already been described as glowing, fawning and heavily curated.
11
13
84
I see Tracy Chapman is trending.
'Chap' and 'man' are gendered terms.
She should change her name to Tracy Personperson.
Or, better, since 'son' is also gendered: Tracy Perchildperchild.
11
10
82
I think when we first open Twitter, we should all acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the land from which we are tweeting, the traditional airwaves over which our signals are transmitted and the unceded land on which they are received.
21
3
81
@VoteLewko
We at the ABC like to show balance in our choice of guests on Q&A.
Tina Arena is a conservative. As such, she will be the 'balance'.
Oh, sure, she'll be singing and not allowed to speak, but that's how we like our conservatives at the ABC: silenced.
4
9
85
If, today, the 'No' vote prevails, we on the Left and at the ABC (same thing, obvs) will do what we always do: maintain our rage against our moral inferiors and pillory the public at every opportunity in perpetuity.
If 'Yes' prevails: party. Studio 2. Vegan snacks provided.
13
5
80
@Sophiemcneill
@hrw
We at the ABC will investigate this. It would be helpful, however, if she identifies as First Nations or is LGBTIAQ. This would ensure coverage.
8
2
79
@PhillipAdams_1
To those of you who think we at the ABC spend all day posting stories about racism, homophobia and misogyny, it's just not true!
We also post negative stories on the LNP and conservatives in general, whilst running interference for our Labor, Green and Teal comrades.
4
8
79
We at the ABC are thinking of hiring Lisa Wilkinson.
Her expert take-down of eeevil Morrison and the Liberals, shamelessly using Brittany Higgins, is probably more masterful than any of the countless hitjobs we've ever done.
'Cept Christian Porter. Obvs.
8
9
81
Just a reminder, folx: if it wasn't for us in the ABC's Race Division Division, you'd all think that Australians are all pretty nice people and Australia is a pretty nice place to live.
It is our job to point out how horrid this country is and you all are.
You're welcome.
14
5
73
I agree with Kerry O'Brien.
You're all nasty, filthy racists.
(This is an official ABC position)
22
7
74
I'm so pleased that Sydney's NYE fireworks had a First People theme.
After all, they have been celebrating NYE for 120,000 years before yt man arrived in this country.
23
2
77
"During the nine-day trial in 2021, the court heard he had allegedly assaulted woman under the guise of cultural practices."
This is the ugly face of racism in this country when ancient traditional cultural practices can be twisted into sexual assault.
16
30
76
Now that our careful curating of the NYE celebrations have highlighted just what horrible, racist people all Australians are, we're starting to work on Australia Day.
If you have any ideas how the ABC can make this day as miserable as possible, please tell me.
20
11
77
We at the ABC are proud to have cancelled Fauziah Ibrahim.
There is no room at the ABC for those who are anti-Labor and keep a list of 'Labor trolls'.
#ABCYourBiasIsShowing
9
23
80
'Tasmania' is a word with its roots in ableism and cisgendered heteronormativitah.
It was named after *Abel* Tasman.
It contains the word 'man'.
Time to change it to 'Taspersonia'
33
2
73
@BenFordhamLive
So it turns out we at the ABC were wrong on Heston Russell, Pell, Porter, Mclachlan, Rush and Jarratt.
We'll get one of these eeevil white men one of these days. Just wait.
7
6
77
Stop the racism! There are no African Gangs!
If there were, Victoria Police would establish a Taskforce like Viper, just like there are no Middle Eastern Crimes gangs, or Victoria Police would have things like Taskforces Santiago and Echo.
Grow up, people! Stop the racism!
18
4
72
Oh, wow! Scott Morrison, Christian Porter AND Peta Credlin are all trending!
The ABC has recalled LNP Hit Squad staff from holidays to deal with this immediately.
1
10
77
The homophobia is real, folks.
115
0
74
@PhillipAdams_1
So, what you're saying, Mr. Adams, is that Kamahl, as a Malaysian man, would not have been invited into Don Bradman's house, had Bradman not considered him 'white'.
That's very racist.
Also, are you available for a spot here on the ABC's Race Division Division desk?
2
1
75
On behalf of the ABC, I'd like to apologise for the lack of racism stories today.
The ABC's Race Division Division is closed for the day. But remember: just because you take holidays doesn't mean that racism takes a holiday.
Evah!
1
10
67
Does anyone have any racism stories? We're running a big low today.
Oh, and remember: just because you don't see or hear racism doesn't mean it isn't everywhere every minute of every day.
30
5
75
Attention all ABC Staff: we are desperately short of race/racism stories today, especially due to Stan Grant withdrawing.
We need ten more stories to meet our minimum daily quota of 13.
Make them up if you have to and email me.
Thanx, folx.
9
10
69
M'kay, so a lot of people are mocking Pete Evans.
I guess he'll have the last laugh when his bone broth and salt lamp cures COVID again.
7
4
74
We at the ABC hope this year's fireworks' display's symbolism was not lost on the public.
You see, it was a metaphor for the rockets raining down on Gaza and the explosive nature of the failure of the referendum for First People people's Voice.
#abcnye
24
9
71