SarahBeerInTheFridge
@SarahR_82
Followers
46,353
Following
27,981
Media
844
Statuses
18,341
Beer. Coffee. Sarcastic. Jokes. I came here to cuss. I love my animals.
Renovating a farm in So IL
Joined February 2020
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Pinned Tweet
How do I take my coffee? Very seriously.
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I'm at the age where I refer to 25 years olds as kids.
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I got married under the spiderweb at recess when I was in kindergarten. I just saw my ex with his new wife. I bet she doesn't know he eats crayons.
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I'm not capable of taking a normal pic, but here ya go.
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Anyone else grow up with these? Not proud to say we had a 4 piece set.
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Have you ever been chased by a chicken? Just wondering.
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Serious question. How do some of you beat anxiety attacks when drugs aren't an option?
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It has recently been brought to my attention that people don't approve of my selfies or videos. Sorry, not sorry 😘
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I just stuck my tongue in a warm apple pie and I get it now.
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Pizza and wings and beer and boobs. I got em all.
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Who's not tweeting about politics? I wanna come hang with you.
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Its Friday AND I'm going to the beach tomorrow. I suppose I'll smile just this once 😉😃
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I love coffee, but Starbucks is nasty. There, I said it.
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If I've done even one thing right in my life, its this kid. I couldnt be more proud of her! Its this girls first competition of the season. She's nervous. Please wish her luck! 🤸🏽♀🥇
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Napsturbate - when u lay down for a nap but masturbate first.
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Masturbation Monday is by far my favorite day of the week, hands down.
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I remember when I was sexually active. Good times.
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I just asked myself, "self, ya wanna get drunk today?" and I said, "yeah".
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Needed to take a little break from social media. Im alive. Im good. I'll be back soon! 😉😘😊
#NewProfilePic
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Anyone know how much tequila goes in mashed potatoes?
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That awkward moment when you lock binoculars with your neighbor.
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A mans T-shirt can easily be the sexiest piece of lingerie she will ever wear.
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I started a new job today. Got my ass up at 3:30 am and had a great morning. Look at me go!
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I treated myself and spent a whole dollar on new lipstick today cuz I'm cheap like that. Shade Flirtatious 💋
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My Tuesday didn't go as planned. Bout time for a nap or a drink.
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Fuuuck, i need friends or a life or more vodka or something.
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Let's role play. You be hungry and I'll be a snack.
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I have an ass you can bounce a large beach ball off of.
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I never know what to caption these fucken things. Look at me!!
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The best part of waking up, is you pressed against my butt.
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My retirement plan is just me hoping I run into my doppelganger who's tired of her rich privileged life and wants to switch places with me.
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I'm at the fun age where I can check out a hot guy, his dad AND the grandpa.
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Might fuck around and do my makeup and wear a bra today.
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The internet people are supposed to be here sometime between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m.
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I can't remember what I went in the kitchen for, but I came out with cheese.
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50 shades of my fat ass sitting on the couch eating Bugles.
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1st day of March. A day closer to summer boob sweat.
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Is whiskey drunk or vodka drunk more appropriate for a baby shower?
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So...turns out I have to wear pants and shoes at my new job.
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If I'm going to pay $9 for a coffee, there better fucken be a happy ending at the bottom of that cup.
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I have nachos, beer and boobs. Life is okay for a moment.
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The older I get, the more I notice I have my mom and grandpas features. I'm glad my sister got my bio dads 😜
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Hangin with this good boy today. Going to meet my grandma at 15s softball game. 🐕⚾
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