Life gave me agave instead of lemons. So now I’m drinking tequila instead of lemonade

https://t.co/JPax0p0LO1

What’s a petty/funny reason you broke up with someone? Example: when I was younger, I ended a relationship after 15minutes because his name was also Ryan and I felt like I was talking to myself in the 3rd person when I’d say his name

Find someone who looks at the moon with you when you’re excited about it. #pinkmoon

lol. This is hilarious. Happy birthday Cheech! Happy Twitter anniversary. Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

Just come visit us already. Literally; why are you waiting?

My guy is lucky for having a girl like me 😂💅💝

Do you know how hard it is to be a gift giver and be mentally blocked on gifts to give?

Jack Skellington and skull. Strawberry cake filling. White chocolate

You guys don’t know this yet, but babe and I have one of the best couples costume this year.

People of twitter: Ya’ll are wild

If youre in my home, dont make it weird and ask me if you can grab something from the fridge. Just grab it.

https://t.co/2cFq3oQoGC

I didn’t “friend zone” you. You’re not important enough to even have a zone. Tfoh

https://t.co/QM7Oq7qSla

I heard that you can save a horse and ride a cowboy

My heart can’t handle it. That voice 🥵😍 @ColoradoFonDew

I’m not able to make the Tuesday night spaces anymore due to the timing of work. But I love love love being saved a glass for when I get home. 🥰💝 Always making me feel included 🥰🫶🥰

You’re not too old to start over. You’re too old to keep doing what itsnt working.

In a world full of twat waffles, be French toast