Paul Spratt
@PaulSpratt
Followers
5K
Following
3K
Media
35
Statuses
869
booking [email protected] / Instagram @paulspratt / comedy album “f**k yeah! Paul’s Here!”
New York, USA
Joined October 2009
Hey @Uber why is it impossible to talk to a person on your app? So you guys can just screw people and then have no way to get in touch?
1
0
0
If god has a plan he better let me know. Or I’m gonna end up at the gates sooner then expected and I’m gonna throw hands.
0
0
1
10am : Arguing with Uber eats that having a DUI shouldn’t stop me from being able to deliver food 10:15 am: sees on the news that an Uber eats driver got murdered, chopped up, and hidden in garbage bags. 10:20 am: emails Uber eats to tell them they are right
0
0
1
If one more person tells me god has a plan, then I guess he had a plan for you to catch these hands too.
0
0
2
With all these aliens showing up maybe we should make nice with #willsmith so he can slap the shit out these aliens
0
0
1
@PaulSpratt is here tonight! Paul brought the house down at the show last night, so you don’t wanna miss this. Showtime at 7:15pm Tickets at https://t.co/Cug27ZcsXj
0
1
2
Biden is having the worst week ever I remember a president having since that one time with the planes
0
0
0
The ability for women to fake it and not laugh automatically makes them the stronger sex.
0
0
2
This will sell out fast with limited seating. Get your tickets now at https://t.co/US3kkhg5Qv
#standupcomedy #comedy #emmaustheatre #emmaustheatrecomedy #triplesunspirits @paulspratt @tylerrothrock @imbuddyharris
instagram.com
0
2
3
If you got some extra cash please donate to this and help out one of the best people I know. Her mom was amazing.
I have started a @gofundme for unexpected finances and funeral services for my mother Janet who passed yesterday. Thank you in general for your love, support, and prayers.
0
0
0
I wanna see a sitcom about people rebuilding all these cities that get destroyed in movies. They do it so fast, and I want one shot where they finish and then Godzilla comes back and they are like “are you f**king kidding me”
1
0
1
Hopefully the Rodgers rate covers that pain. #statefarm #BucsVsPackers
1
1
2
Ravens center getting let go on the bus ride to the airport. #NFLPlayoffs #BillsMafia #RavensVsBills
1
0
0
Man this new season of house of cards without Kevin Spacey is wild. #impeachment
0
0
0
Lady in charge of making laws doesn't understand the law on why she cant bring her gun to work. Next on this is America.
0
0
1