“his physiognomy is—“ boring default argument of worms, terrified about making sense of what they see in the mirror, like people don’t see it in their first 30 seconds meeting you, how you squirm when you think about all the ways your dad made your mom cry, more Nordic or?

nothing scarier than a Canadian team becoming baseball world champions

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“Crypto is for Cypherpunks,” posts a 39 year old on SSRIs from the social media account of a corporation on the S&P 500

Paul Schrader has always been, at best, the poster boy for the ones who were beaten up by their dads but still needed his money to fill their tanks and drive drunk around LA being mad at the world. in the end, just another mediocre alcoholic.

Canadian Border Patrol makes Dave Roberts go through several rounds of cavity searches, a weed pen is planted in Yamamoto’s carry on and he’s placed in handcuffs, Max Muncy’s glasses are broken and he’s thrown in the Maple Pits, Do you want to win or do you want to go home?

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as AI CEOs prepare for the ski season lasting the next seven months, investors ask if maybe we’re in a bubble

the EMTs find another airdrop checker open.

what you don’t see in the ChatGPT road trip commercial is the brother entering AI psychosis and driving with his sister into the desert

you see a video of an old influencer who used to love controversy, you wondered how a man could leave his wife and kids for some coke and a blown out 30 something YouTuber and live with himself, looking into his empty eyes, you realize he can’t.

NBC buys the top on Taylor Sheridan after Yellowstone dies because Kevin Costner needed to go make his $800 million 25 hour Western epic, you can hear the rhinestone cowboys fall to their knees, the writers who love Cormac McCarthy, as they rush to push more narco cowboy slop

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“this mystery claim process sucks,” says dopamine fried crypto trader whose entire life has become a series of -EV micro gambles

don’t take bait from suburbanites who say there’s more to writing than having interesting stories

the next airdrop, that’ll be the one that changes everything, next airdrop you’ll hit hardest, you won’t sell early and you’ll finally be rich. you’ll lose weight too, and get taller. you’ll even stop being an asshole and stop hating yourself. once you get this next airdrop.

putting Founder in your bio so you feel more comfortable talking shit about people building things

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“players don’t benefit from gambling and have to put up with all the negativity” an 8th man off the bench signs a contract for $20 million only made possible by DraftKings, the NBA’s official sports betting partner, and thousands of fans losing their paychecks on parlays

did she become a Democratic Socialist before or after her ex cheated on her with a model? before or after she turned 35? after the boob job but also after the removal?

it would be cooler if the next college football coach had to receive his $50 million buyout individually handed to him in $1 bills by all the illiterate kids in Mississippi or wherever

when you wake up and she’s stolen all the sheets, do you love her enough to use a towel as a blanket?

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“he made millions, why cheat for $200k?” some of you have never met someone dedicated to thwarting their blessings. it is a tireless affliction, deep inside their brain, creativity cooking full boil while they constantly reinvent new ways to throw it all away

“did Shohei get a new translator?” “no, why?” “I just saw him talking to Freddie without anyone” “no you didn’t”