Myke Cole
@MykeCole
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Hudson Valley, NY
Joined October 2010
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Fans who found me via CONTACT on
@Discovery
/
@ScienceChannel
or
@HuntedCBS
, I also write books! Like TV, but you look at paper & your brain makes pictures.
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I was activated and deployed to the gulf for Deepwater Horizon. We killed ourselves out there, up to our armpits in toxic chemicals, to make sure this was fixed and never happened again.
All undone in an instant, for no other reason than the whim of a rich, entitled monster.
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If you think “girls never go for nice guys,” consider the possibility that a.) they do, and b.) you’re not one.
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I staged a dramatic reading of Trump’s letter to Erdogan.
The part of Erdogan is played by my cat - Ow, Fuck.
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I fought in Iraq. It was an unmitigated disaster from which the region, and America, will never recover.
War with Iran will be worse. And let’s not kid ourselves - this is completely unnecessary. If we’re fighting Iran, let’s be honest about why: Trump’s ego. His sick cult.
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I tip 20% even for bad service. Because maybe they had a fight with their partner or they’re having an anxiety attack. Maybe they’re exhausted from working 3 jobs. Hurting their ability to survive won’t help. We have to look out for each other.
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I don’t ever want to hear someone say “this is not who we are” ever again.
This is very clearly who half of us are.
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Trump: - eats baby -
Sane people: JESUS LEAPING CHRIST YOU JUST ATE A BABY
Deplorables: Haha! Librul tears!
@nytopinion
: “If only self-important leftists had kept quiet, these normally anti-baby-eating types would have remained on the fence.”
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It’s . . . It’s Hanukkah, Neil.
Merry Christmas to all the Christians of the world.
To everybody else, including the Muslims, Atheists, Hindus, Buddhists, Pagans, & Jews...
...Happy Wednesday.
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Fetishizing veterans makes me feel isolated and alien. I did a job, and I was paid to do it. I don’t need special treatment or care. If America would simply provide medical care to all, it would cover veterans’ needs. What I want, more than anything, is to be like everyone else.
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The Republican response to COVID is *exactly* like their response to guns. Tens of thousands of Americans dead, far more than anywhere else in the world (even counting proportionally), and they insist there’s nothing to be done, that this is just how it goes, and take no action.
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1.) Have rich parents.
2.) Have rich parents.
3.) Have rich parents.
4.) Have rich parents.
5.) Have rich parents.
6.) Have rich parents.
7.) Have rich parents.
8.) Have rich parents.
9.) Have rich parents.
10.) Have rich parents.
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There’s been a lot of talk about who we should commemorate with statues lately.
Diego, 100 year old tortoise who single handedly saved his species with his rapid sex drive, is retiring. He has 800 kids.
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I assume all you youngsters talking about “blazing 420” are of course referring to the blazing career of Alcibiades, who in 420 BC was elected στρατηγός (Strategos), an incredible height of power for one so young.
I applaud your interest in the great figures of our ancient past
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That is not a stray deer. That is the champion of the old pagan gods come to reclaim this holy ground from the newcomer infidels
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Look, I know what you meant and I’m normally a huge fan of employing Latin in regular conversation, but . . . Jesus Christ.
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“I write history”
- Sounds boring.
- Audience suspicious maybe you’re responsible for that textbook that tortured them in high school.
“I speak for the dead”
- Ominous and dramatic.
- Not exactly false.
- Hints at dark power.
- Maybe you’re a necromancer? Impossible to tell
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Unlike you, I served in the military, intelligence services, and law enforcement, including 3 spins in Iraq.
So, I’d say I know a thing or two about guns, Tomi.
And one of the things I know is that a lunatic like you shouldn’t be allowed within 10’ of one.
Hey Lefties, “AR” does NOT stand for “assault rifle.” It stands for “ArmaLite rifle.” You want to take our guns but you don’t know jack about guns. See the problem?
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This is not an existential question. This is a decision on whether or not she breaks the law.
Hope Hicks, one of the best-known but least visible former members of President Trump’s White House staff, is facing an existential question: whether to comply with a congressional subpoena
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Looking at this, I can only assume she’s addressing her freshly summoned army of the undead, before turning them loose on the unsuspecting villagers in the valley below her fell tower.
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Just got the following message from a friend of mine who is a senior NCO handling SCIF duties.
I don’t have an answer for them.
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I promise you there were signs. I promise you there were at least a 100 opportunities for other cops to spot Chauvin’s murderous rot and intervene. Everyone, from his command, to his colleagues, to the system that handed him a gun are culpable. Chauvin must only be where we start
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Teens: I have hired many people. If I ever saw an IQ on a resume or in a cover letter, I would burn it, then invent a machine that burns things that have already been burned so that I could burn it again.
Pro tip for teens: spend a couple hundred dollars for a professional IQ test, and dangle the result in front of potential employers. Anyone who demands an arts degree instead is too stupid to work for.
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Sure, when Hannibal rides an elephant he’s “the father of strategy,” and “the greatest general in history.” But when *I* do it, I’m “publicly intoxicated” and “guilty of criminal trespass in the Bronx Zoo.”
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My favorite Ursula K. Le Guin quote still calms my heart, even all these years after I first read it in A Wizard of Earthsea:
“Go on and do your work. Do it well. It is all you can do.”
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Motherfucker I went to war three times and after I read this tweet imma put on a dress and watch all the Disney Princess movies back to back
If we are faithful to the word of God, we will call men away from the sin of brutality. We will also call them away from the sin of effeminacy.
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Picture yourself going up to a writer you’ve never met before face-to-face at a party and saying, “Hi! I really don’t like your work. I think you’re a terrible writer.”
Such a dick move! You wouldn’t do that, right? SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT ONLINE ITS THE SAME DAMN THING
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BREAKING: Man found not guilty of being kind and decent to other human beings.
BREAKING: A Tucson jury has found Scott Warren of
@NoMoreDeaths
not guilty of all charges for providing food, water and aid to undocumented migrants in the Sonoran Desert.
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Any cop who walks away, allowing harm to come to citizens is a self-interested, petulant asshole who never cared about doing their job in the first place.
If police protection is conditional on immunity to criticism, we don’t have a police force, we have a protection racket.
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To all those proclaiming that we may have to accept some deaths in order to keep the economy going:
You first.
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Finger indexed inside the trigger-guard, instead of along the upper receiver.
Finger touching the trigger.
Muzzle pointed up, instead of at the deck.
The person in this picture is untrained in proper firearms handling, and should not be allowed to touch a gun.
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Stuck on the subway as the clock turned the new year. So we made our own occasion of it.
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Image 1: responsible gun owner legally transporting firearm in a manner designed to not raise anxiety.
Image 2: terrorist shitbag.
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I blame Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina for starting us down this path
McDonald’s to sell limited edition six-pack of candles that smell like Quarter Pounder ingredients: Ketchup, Pickle, Cheese, Onion & Beef.
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I’m fucking sick of this. I am diagnosed with:
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
- Major Depression, Recurring
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder
I’ve never shot up a mall.
This was never about mental illness. You KNOW it was never about mental illness. It’s *guns* and ideology.
Sen. Bernie Sanders: "I think all over the world people are looking at the United States and wondering what is going on, what is the mental health situation in America where time after time after time we're seeing indescribable horrors."
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This reverence for the founding fathers mystifies me. We’re talking about a clique of exclusively white men over two centuries in their graves who lived at a time before electric light when human beings could be property
Maybe we should update our inspiration for good government
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Sure sex is great, but have you ever had your cat burst out of the litter box trailing a half-pinched turd she is TERRIFIED of, and then having to extract it while she tries to kill you, and then wipe her butt like an infant JESUS LEAPING CHRIST MY FUCKING LIFE
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The world is choked with men who have never fought, lionizing other men whose battle experience they don’t understand, crowing for conflicts they won’t have to shoulder personally, and scolding us when we deviate from their expectations.
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There is no animal more explosively violent than the embarrassed human male.
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Boy. You’re going to be super upset when you hear about this
If you loot riot and destroy you lose all moral credibility, in my eyes, to protest injustice
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"You're an artist, stay out of politi. . ."
Fuck you.
"You shouldn't write stories that. . ."
Fuck you.
"You can't . . ."
Fuck.
You.
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Covering your badge/shield number for any reason whatsoever should be a fireable offense for police.
Zero tolerance. No excuses.
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Suspended.
For assaulting a man and putting him in the hospital in serious condition.
For failing to render aid as blood pooled beneath his broken skull.
Suspended.
Not fired. Not prosecuted. Suspended.
I got fired from a bartending job for pouring too generously.
Two Buffalo officers suspended after shoving 75-year-old protester to the ground, where he lay bleeding, motionless
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When he called the Charlottesville neo fascists, “fine people,” you were fine.
When he called Mexicans “murderers and rapists,” you were fine.
When he put kids in cages, you were fine.
When he cozied up to despots and dictators, you were fine
But now he’s costing you money
"I almost fell out of my chair. I could not believe it," said Beth Callori of Long Island. "I voted for Trump. I thought he was going to be good for this country, but when I got that phone call [about the taxes I owed], that's it, I'm done."
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I spent a decade in the intelligence community as a COIN targeting officer. During that time, I deployed to Iraq 3 times to conduct COIN operations. I was a COIN custodial debriefing role-player and instructor.
I appreciate you setting me straight on COIN doctrine. Thanks.
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I get that strident political opinions make you uncomfortable, and that you follow me for my novels. I know that you’re exhausted by my constant agitprop, and think artists should stick to making art. I’m sorry for this. I wonder, have you considered going and fucking yourself?
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Let me get this straight:
- High speed rail
- Free health care
- Ample public housing
- Rich paying their fair share
- Strong unions
- People can smoke pot if they damn well want to without assholes throwing them in jail
- Rebuilding crumbling infrastructure
Sign me up.
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I never thought leopards would eat MY face, sobs the woman who voted for the leopards-eating-people's-faces-party
@Cavalorn
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If Amy Coney Barrett truly wishes to obey her god, then she can surely see that his decision to strike her nomination announcement with a plague is a clear sign that she should withdraw from the process.
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Just a note for everyone crying “socialism” and “real liberalism” as an excuse for violating worker solidarity and pirating books. Authors *are* workers. We produce art. You’re no different from capitalist exploiters who steal labor/wages. You’re not socialists. You’re assholes.
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If I’m killed in a mass shooting, dump my body on the steps of Congress.
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(•_•)
He refused . . .
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
. . . to come quietly
Man High On Meth, Fights Off 15 Police Officers While Masturbating -
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I feel so incredibly lucky that all my years in uniform were under this President.
Eleven years ago today, near the bottom of the worst recession in generations, I signed the Recovery Act, paving the way for more than a decade of economic growth and the longest streak of job creation in American history.
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The person who has the most votes, Dan. It’s what we call “majority rule.”
You’re in favor of “most land rule.” We have a name for that type of government. It’s called “feudalism.”
I used this hypothetical example: R candidate wins 48 states by identical 54-46 margins, D wins CA, NY & DC by 75-25 margins, D wins national popular vote. Who should win?
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If you’re a student suspended or given detention for participating in the walkout and concerned about college admissions:
I’m a former military officer with a distinguished career in intelligence and law enforcement, and I’d be honored to write your recommendation.
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Health care workers, but also packers, shippers and delivery workers, food prep and drivers and logisticians, postal workers and check out clerks, shelf stockers and warehouse staff, forklift operators and security guards, manifest keepers and lading specialists. You’re saving us
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Let me fix this headline: “People being held accountable for their actions and facing consequences like adults is a fundamental of a mature and ethical society.”
"David Hogg's attempt to end Laura Ingraham's career sets dangerous precedent"
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Came home to this.
My first work of history.
Finished, and in my hand.
I can’t believe it.
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We are in the middle of a fucking pandemic Madame Antoinette
I am excited to share the progress of the Tennis Pavillion at
@WhiteHouse
. Thank you to the talented team for their hard work and dedication.
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I have taken,
The bag of soup,
That you were probably saving,
For dinner.
Forgive me,
I had to throw it,
At a cop.
I chose soup,
Instead of a brick,
So that if I get caught,
I can say,
This is just soup for my family.
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An outstanding example of safe weapon handling. Finger is indexed along the upper receiver outside the trigger guard. Weapon is pointed in a safe direction at the low ready. Muzzle is not scanning unnecessarily.
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We are exactly 30 seconds away from this tech being used to end a marriage, wreck a career, put someone in prison, or start a war.
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“America is exceptional” we said as we forced Native Americans on the Trail of Tears, kept human beings as property, slouched through Jim Crow, interned Japanese-Americans. “This is not who we are” we cried as we put Trump in power, permitted each new horror, consequence free.
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I have been alive for 46 years and never died of hypothermia. I am proof that hypothermia doesn’t exist.
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BREAKING: Gender reveal party went disastrously wrong when a balloon supposed to contain pink smoke instead was mistakenly packed with a 1st C. BC Celtic warband.
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The “Never Forget” culture of 9/11 must be re-examined. We have to find a way to mourn the loss while moving past the suspicion, dread, and rage that was what Bin Laden wanted - that give us over-militarization of police and the Forever-Wars of Iraq and Afghanistan. 1/2
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This phalanx is a complete disaster both by Classical and Hellenistic Period standards:
- less than 3’ intervals indicates synaspismos (locked shields) formation where weapons can’t be deployed.
- neither spears (doru) nor pikes (sarissa) apparent.
- complete lack of shields.
Matt Gaetz says he’s about to lead this phalanx of House Republicans into the SCIF to check out what’s going on with the whole impeachment thing
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Another note about Candace Owens, and Tomi Lahren, and Ben Shapiro, and Charlie Kirk, or any of these poison-hearted monsters who crow about duty, bravery, and courage in war.
None of them have ever worn the uniform. All able-bodied. All they had to do was sign up. They didn’t.
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You’re not going to frighten anti-intellectuals with being “on the wrong side of history.” History is one of those things in books they don’t read.
We have to make them believe they’re on the wrong side of right fucking now.
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Military service is a JOB for which you VOLUNTEER and ARE PAID. MOST military members are in less or equal danger than comparable civilian jobs. It doesn’t make you a hero. It doesn’t make you worthy of worship. You aren’t owed special thanks. We have got to stop this shit.
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I’m concerned that anime may be teaching kids unrealistic expectations of how large a weapon they can realistically wield in close combat.
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I’m always gobsmacked that the unironic pro-2A argument essentially comes down to: “I must be armed so I can turn traitor against my free and fairly elected government and maintain the capability to murder police officers who try to enforce laws I don’t personally agree with.”
Meghan McCain, after saying there will be "violence" in America if the AR-15 is banned because it's "the most popular gun" in the country, then declares that she's "not living without guns."
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ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WEAR A FUCKING MASK AND WE CAN AT LEAST PARTLY GO BACK TO OUR LIVES ITS NOT HARD ITS NOT EXPENSIVE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS NOT BE A DICK WE WONT GIVE YOU A HARD TIME FOR NOT WEARING ONE BEFORE HONEST NO FOOLING JUST WEAR A DAMN MASK ILL BUY YOU ONE FOR THE LOV
Data suggests George Floyd protests have not caused coronavirus spike in NYC
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Pretty please Dems: now that you have a modicum of power STOP reaching across the aisle. STOP acting like you can negotiate in good faith with these monsters. Beat them blue.
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If billionaires paid their fair share, we wouldn’t need their fucking philanthropy
Without the philanthropy of billionaires, the poor would suffer more and for longer
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I don’t mean to be all political here, but I don’t think we should let millions of Americans die.
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A reminder to the National Guard: You are *not* obligated to follow illegal orders. You can and will be prosecuted for carrying them out.
You were trained to revere honor. You were trained to have integrity.
You were trained to do what’s right even when it costs you.
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In all my years in law enforcement, I constantly heard this loathsome axiom repeated: “Better to be judged by twelve than carried by eight.”
The opposite is true. If you’re not willing to lay down your life for the people you protect, turn the badge in now. It’s them, not you.
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Russia fires on Ukrainian ships, captures three - we do nothing.
Migrants are legally presenting themselves at the correct port of entry to request asylum - guns up.
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The Trump regime has blackened my soul. There’s a darkness in me that makes me ill. I don’t want the country to come together. I don’t want reconciliation. I want justice. I want punishment. I want the right to suffer as they have made others suffer.
I hate feeling this way.
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{\__/}
( • . •)
/ > > -|——
{\__/}
( o .o)
/ >—>————————————->
Two bunnies demonstrate comparative effective strike ranges of the Roman Gladius Hispaniensis and the Hellenistic Sarissa pike.
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I love that it looks like there are two cops there holding her back
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JESUS H CHRIST THE GODDAMN CAT LIES DOWN ON MY LAP ROLLS OFF BECAUSE SHES AN IDIOT HOOKS HER STUPID CLAWS INTO MY JEANS OVER MY JUNK TO KEEP FROM FALLING AND WHEN I TRY TO SAVE MY OWN LIFE SHE BITES ME I GET ONE CLAW FREE AND SHE SCRATCHES THE SHIT OUT OF ME WHAT THE HELL
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Man. The 2020 writers’ room is a little heavy-handed, don’t you think?
The iconic Acuity Insurance flag in Sheboygan - the largest free-flying American flag in the country - has been torn in half after tonight's storms.
📷: Avdil Luma
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“This is not who we are.”
Slavery, Native American genocide, Jim Crow, Lynchings, Japanese Internment, Zoot Suit Riots, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and on and on and on.
This is *exactly* who we are. This is *exactly* who we’ve always been.
Until we own it, we can’t fix it.
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At 18 Alexander the Great smashed the Theban Sacred Band at Chaeronea in 338 BC, securing Macedonian hegemony over Greece and launching what would become one of the greatest empires the world had ever known.
Lil Pump on his success: "Nobody has done what I've done at da age of 18."
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This is raw, untrammeled bullshit, and dangerous propaganda.
I have been on meds to treat PTSD induced major depression and anxiety for years. I have published 9 books, been on a TV show, held a military commission and paid off my mortgage.
Meds (when needed) will HELP you.
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I have been staring at this tweet for a solid 5 minutes and I have no idea what it means. It seems so tantalizingly like English and yet . . . I don’t think it is? I keep thinking if I just read it one more time, I’ll understand it.
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I’m always puzzled by people who assume that military historians are somehow pro-war. It’s a bit like assuming that oncologists are pro-cancer.
Is it such a complex concept that a person can be passionate about understanding a phenomena they hope will never happen again?
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I am an American veteran. I fought so you could respect the flag anyway you see fit, standing, kneeling, even nothing. I don’t require any special respect from you beyond the common decency with which you treat all people. The only thing I want is to be treated like everyone else
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If calling you Nazi is all it takes to make you a Nazi, then you were already a Nazi, Mr. Nazi McNaziwitz, Mayor of Nazitown in Nazi county.
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The President of the United States has just publicly admitted that he influenced the outcome of a military trial for war crimes, specifically the murder of civilians.
But it won’t matter. Because nothing does anymore.
Congratulations to Navy Seal Eddie Gallagher, his wonderful wife Andrea, and his entire family. You have been through much together. Glad I could help!
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