This is what Emerald Executive gets you in STL. No cars and a Disney-length line. Go like a Pro, @nationalcares !!!!

First class, dumpster or school bus? Hard to tell the difference today. Guess the cleaning crew labor union is on strike. Thankfully it is on a day I was hoping to have to sit amongst empty snack wrappers, stir sticks and newspapers. @AmericanAir flight 3785 rocks!

Ive been traveling. Has Bielema been fired yet?.

WARNING-@MarriottIntl now charging a "destination fee" at Marquis in NYC. You just lost me, my team of 10, and the 1000 travelers @ company.

Summer travel. That time when the airports are filled with civilians. Time to watch the "I gotta take all my metal off?" shuffle.

Online check-in. Late arrival. Standard sheet check. BLOOD ON SHEETS when it's too late to change rooms. ACK. THANKS @MarriottIntl

After 20 years of travel, today was a first. My NYC cab was BRAND NEW. Sticker in the window. I guess they come loaded with the BO smell.

My name is Mark and I am a tad bit obsessed with Mr Robot.

"If their brains was lard, half of 'em couldn't grease a skillet." #schoolbusinservice2016.

I'm just gonna leave this here.

Apparently @belk little rock doesn't want to sell anything. Do YOU see an employee? Been here 15 minutes.

@coachsully51 #doinitonthefloor.

I wish @bathbodyworks made a wallflower simply called "Bacon.".

There is no more frustrating effort in life than trying to remove a price tag from a new plate.

I have mastered garage sale banter with "how y'all doin?" "Trying to stay cool?" "Yes, I'll take $1 for that!" & "Take care!".

For those who prefer a centrifuge-spun chicken meat / cartilage mix formed into shapes, this should make you happy.

Three good reasons why men should NEVER wear open-toed footwear.

I just went to the men's room in Target and there was a female fly buzzing around. #diversity #bathroomplumbingequality.

Whew! Thank goodness. I just learned the bathrooms in my house are unisex bathrooms. Glad I don't have to move out in protest.

Just in case you think touching the safety card or in flight magazine is EVER ok.