Allano🖤
@Its_Smith22
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New Orleans, LA
Joined January 2022
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Pinned Tweet
Your kikuyu girlfriend to your bank balance immediately you give her the pin.
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Either this is the tallest giraffe in the world or we're crashing!
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Wenzako wakirudi nyumbani na farasi we unarudi na machozi, utahama hapa.
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"Kama huyu hangeenda kuringa na mshipi ya 20k tungekua na kazi bado."
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Tunge-elect Wajakoya sahii angekua amewasha kijoint kimoja kikubwa tunamedi tukidiscuss finance bill.
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Kuna dem ukionwa na yeye kwa club, watu wanajua tu we ni mgeni!😂
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Karen Nyamu has the Ostrich's look but not it's intelligence.
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"Nauliza mara ya mwisho, 'Mtu amesoma na ako na mali anaitwaje?"
Me: Msomali😭😭😭😂
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Acheni kuset goals ngumungumu... anza ata na kuchange toothbrush, kudeworm na kuchange bedsheets.
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No brilliant X user will pass by without retweeting this Talent.💯
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When KDF soldiers see the letter between S and F in the keyboard.
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Judge akisema "Order" sema chapo choma ndio afikirie we ni chizi.
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Unashinda umenyoa ndevu ndio nisione umekomaa, utahama hapa🤌
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Unashinda umenyoa ndevu ndio nisione umekomaa, utahama hapa🤌
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Unapea dem yako pesa za salon, unampiga ngeta, unarudi unampea izo pesa ndo aone pesa si shida kwako.😂
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"Unasema umejaribu hadi wakisii hawakutaki, Kwani mbavu yako tulipea nani?"
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Just watched that traumatizing video of the Al Shabaab killing those construction workers in Lamu, coast aint safe wacha nikae Ruiru.....video in thread👇
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Huyu ile hug atapigwa after hapa itampeleka miezi zingine sita.💀😂
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Ukiona mtu amekula beans 5 star hotel akilipa 5k na wewe umekula nyama.💀🥲
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The worst break up is when it is announced by the watchman "Walisema tusikufungulie gate." 💀
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Morio wako akikupea advice ya mapenzi na huwa unamgongea dem.💀
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Ukipata roommate akikula kuku after amekupiga exile ati mamaa anakuja.
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Kuendea food in pairs kila jioni hukaa flex when you see other couples doing it, untill dem akuje akatalie kwako as well.😂
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Caretaker: Na kwa hii ploti kuna mtu anavuta bangi usiku.
Me: Anavuta akipeleka wapi?
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"Hakuna haja tuwaste hii, mimi ni mlevi nishikeni." "Ndi mureu ta ngui"😂😂
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"Huyo wa jaba jaribu kubalance taxin ndege inalala side moja."
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To those picking sides on this Israel and Iran conflict. War is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, just losers. There are no good wars. Stand for peace 🕊️ "SAY NO TO WORLD WAR 3"
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Hii si kila mtu ataelewa😂😂
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Ukikaa kiti different na manzi yako kwa mat alafu uskie akichekeshwa na msee mwingine.
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One of the character's from the movie "Planet of the apes."
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Huku tao kunanuka kiwi, mbogi ya kuwapeleka 25 years in prison ndio inadunda.
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"Wewe haribu kila kitu, nitatenga pesa ya kufanya repair mafren."
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Akikupeleka home mara ya kwanza alafu mamake akuulize, "Wewe ndio unamletanga na gari usiku?"
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Unashinda umenyoa ndevu ndio nisione umekomaa, utahama hapa🤌
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Huyu atapigwa hug ingine safi, itampeleka miezi zingine sita.💀🥲
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Nowadays hatununui jersey juu ni ya team yetu, tunabuy jersey juu design imeweza.
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Ukienda sleepover kwa wenyewe alafu uamke mbele ya kila mtu.😂
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