I planned for a hot girl summer but got eczema instead

Depression playlist has been on for WEEKS

Can’t believe I crossed a huge milestone of getting married and going on my honeymoon and now I’m just back at work like it never happened lol

I just need to live long enough to see an airline that’s completely pet friendly. The flight attendants give out treats and chew toys, everyone is friendly and cool cause they have a dog, Karen’s are relocated to cargo. I need to see it

I have been calling soy sauce SOYA sauce my entire life and no one ever corrected me.

I had the most eventful weekend. I bought a new shower mat.

Was Amelia Bedilia a fever dream

Is there anything worse than being disrespected by a TWEEN

Normalize being flattered when someone names their dog after you. They love the dog more than you and their mothers. Take the compliment and go.

Will I spend my life savings on Christmas candles this weekend? Yes. Will it be a financial burden and stress me out until my next pay check? Also yes. Am I still gonna do it? Absolutely.

This screwed me up more than it should have

Saw a really sad tiktok of a pup in his last days and bawled my eyes out but then the next video was “how produce would look if it could walk” and had a corn on the cob doing the wacky wavy inflatable tubeman. I’m so emotionally confused.

Decided to have a self-care night last night with a face mask, exfoliating shower and everything. Tell me why my fiancé had the AUDACITY to come home and say my face smells like a WET RAG.

Is 2020 Ashton Kutcher’s ultimate punk’d episode? @aplusk how did you pull it off

If someone scares you while you make an ugly face you’ll stay that way forever

If you’re one of those people that are like iTs NoT cHrIsTmAs YeT iTs OnLy OcToBeR please shut the door on your way out I have a spooky Christmas playlist to blast 👻🎄

Ok but for real did people really think midnight sun was a good book? Am I the only one that was like ok we get it you’re a filthy disgusting monster and she’s dumb enough to love you get over it, Edward. Just me? Ok.

Thus making your statement technically wrong. That is my thesis wash your hands wear a mask, Miss you love ya have a nice day

I thought about it. Considered your opinion. If you ask someone if they like oysters they’ll say “nah I’m more of a texture person” implying that mush is not a texture while it is in fact. Furthermore while you may be right, this figure of speech does not depend on technicalities

Is anyone not a texture person? Like is anyone really like yeah this mush is great

Music from 2012 just hits different