Caldwell
@caldwell
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That moment when you realize your beach house doesn't have a wine opener and OH THANK GOD I BOUGHT SCREW CAPS.
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Mr. Bill Israel was unable to contain his #pytn2015 enthusiasm this morning. Tongue-out finger-gun FTW @epochblue
http://t.co/2ZYUl9RLTI
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And a flight voucher to boot? I take back everything I said about you to the drunk cowboy, Southwest.
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SUCCESS! Detour thru DE-troit, but I'll take it. I love you too, flight rebooking chick.
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Sucking up to the chick who rebooks flights. Initiating a collective eye-rolling at the guy who yelled at her. Feeling good ab my chances.
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My mother's now recommending pre-noon drinking as well. Maybe these two are onto something.
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OH: "...my flight's delayed. I'm lookin right at Tootsie's orchid lounge right now. Might just go get drunk." I feel ya, cowboy.
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Starbucks gave me a chai latte instead of a chai. I sent that shit back. Today's not the day, barista.
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Missing my meeting, fine. But I just realized I'm going to miss my massage. RAGE.
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And then: "This is just a test of the emergency system." How 'bout you pick a sunny day to test that bad boy, BNA. Hate the delay again.
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Over the intercom: "A tornado warning is in effect. A tornado has been spotted in the area. Step away from windows." Maybe I want the delay?
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"You can make it up, but it has to be on form." --@wyntonmarsalis #nashvillesymphony
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Cardiovascular disease is the #1 killer of Americans. On October 4, I am walking in the American Heart Association... http://t.co/3ThgFzckyD
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Love is sharing your @cityhouse head cheese burger with your toddler. She's lucky she's so damn cute.
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