trout mask (original)
@BranPuffin
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Fox 11 chopper pilot flying around the city talking about his marriage falling apart
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Founder
Stuff idiots love to say: >physiognomy >phenotype >ontologically evil >directionally correct (i.e. wrong) >suicidal empathy >midwit >spiritually ___ >from first principles >Nietzschean >agentic >you can just do stuff™ >longhoused >schizo- (as a prefix) >esoteric >builder
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The stories about him wearing headphones and vaping during sex are gaining validity
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Look sometimes kids make mistakes
BREAKING: Trump has pardoned 88-year-old British billionaire Joe Lewis, who pleaded guilty to insider trading in the US last year
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Toss Your Hair In A Bun, Drink Some Coffee, Put On Some Gangsta Rap and Handle It
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What if I made shepherds pie? How would that make you feel?
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I lost $0
BREAKING: $170,360,000,000 has been wiped out of the crypto market today. Nice Novembear we have here.
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Throwing individual grapes into the ceiling fan just to feel something
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Mr. Speaker, the time has come to redesign our state flag. This confederate symbol is an embarrassment, particularly as we are a northern state.
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Direct action gets the goods
BREAKING: Starbucks workers have launched a massive, nationwide strike. Baristas in 40 cities have walked off the job on the busiest day of Starbucks' year. Upwards of 12,000 @SBWorkersUnited members could ultimately go on strike as the union escalates.
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It’s cool that David Pakman pretends he doesn’t know what AIPAC is, to the point of feigning to not know how to pronounce it, and took the $7k per month without disclosing it
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Tweets you see in custody depositions:
Waymo is a godsend for working parents. Need to hand off the baby between meetings? Put them in a Waymo and send them to your partner across town. Impossible before now. Really grateful we have this technology 🙏
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Someday my spec scripts will be validated, someday
@oxymoronassoc B-story is Tracy is returning to ‘first principles’ of comedy by thinking he’s the fourth stooge and finger-to-eye doinks Liz out of astigmatism
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Love the time of year that Home Depot leaves out the free pumpkins and plants in front of the store 🤗
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Fork found in kitchen
It’s long past time for this libel to die.
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last year i went to a chain eye doctor to get glasses and he noticed something weird in my eye and was like, 'you should get this checked out' and wrote something on a piece of paper which i assumed was a doctor's name and number but he just wrote, 'eye hospital'
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A lot of people don’t know that Jim Cramer was once a magazine editor before getting his stock trading show
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