The "manosphere" which incels are part of have a dogma about sex that includes the idea of a "sexual economy" based around that 10 scale that you thought people only jokingly referenced. They believe it's real and objective and basically natural law.

They believe that if a man is a modest 4 or 5, he should be able to marry a 4 or 5 and "nail" as many 3s as he wants. That's just science to them.

They believe that the fact that the world does not, in fact, work this way is a sign that something has gone horribly wrong, that something is happening at a society-wide, systemic level to pervert the natural course of things.

They believe this thing is feminism, as part of what they more broadly call "cultural marxism" (with varying levels of explicitness to the anti-Semitism they lean on), that there is an actual Matriarchy oppressing men.

The idea that women want men who will treat them decently is a sign of how the "sexual economy" has been skewed in women's favor. They can't get 3s because feminism made women believe we're all entitled to a 10, and that we can just be lesbians if we don't get them.

A lot of incels? They're having sex, but they label themselves as "incels" because the women they have sex with don't count as women in their mind (not Aryan Stepford Wife Barbie Dolls, basically) and they aren't getting the women they feel they're entitled to.

Some of them haven't had sex, or are in a long dry spell. I'm not saying incels have some kind of special pull. Just... it's not a question of "can't get laid, turn bitter and angry evil". If they're not getting laid it's because they're angry and biter and evil.

And I'd prefer to let sex workers speak for themselves, but: a sex worker is not a vending machine that dispenses sex for money. They are human beings, which means 1) they can and do turn people down for being unpleasant, and 2) we shouldn't be offering them up as sacrifices.

The idea that sex workers can and should be the solution to "involuntary celibacy" is in fact an incel talking point. They have petitioned governments and written manifestos about the "distribution of sex" and called for an end to "discrimination".

There's a thing at work in evangelical societies where one of the functions of missionary work is that it encourages cohesion and indoctrination within the group, by sending young and impressionable people out with a terrible script for an impossible task...

...so that they will encounter a world that is hostile and incomprehensible to them and return from the mission bewildered and battered, to the comforting embrace of the church, where things work the way they're supposed to and life makes sense.

So consider the ways that the manosphere teaches young, impressionable men who feel awkward about socialization and sexuality to approach women, the things it teaches them about men and women and how they relate to one another, and how to "get" a woman.

"I found a girl alone at a bar and I negged her. Her sexual market value was low to begin with so it should have been easy pickings. But she creep-shamed me and left with some beta guy who laughed at HER jokes. You were right. Feminism is cancer."

The manosphere actively sabotages any hope of a normal male/female interaction for men who fall within its circles, rewrites how they see the world (with a helpful foundation from a society that tacitly endorses the basic tropes behind their beliefs)...

...and the ones who are good at taking rejection in stride become Pick Up Artists, hitting on dozens of women until they find the one who's in the right mood or frame of mind anyway. They say, "These techniques work, guarantee."

And the ones who can't play that game until they "win" become bitter because they are surrounded by success stories and they become "incels" or "Men Going Their Own Way"... But mostly while still dating and having sex.

This is still doing numbers so I'm going to take this opportunity to say check out my newsletter.

@AlexandraErin @threadreaderapp Unroll please. And, thank you.

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