I wanna wish a happy book birthday to WHISPERWOOD, and to every person who believed in me and helped make this dream possible.
It's the first part of what I hope will be a long tour filled with so much love and adventure.
Thank you all for standing by me ♥️
Back in Romania, when a bad driver cuts you off, we'd say "may he get where he's going safely".
Here in Italy, they just say "go to hell".
Multiculturalism is me, this morning, gesturing out my car window at the guy who nearly killed me, shouting "may you get to hell safely" 😅
I'm gonna do a little thread on telling (and verifying) AI images since a couple of friends asked. I'm sure there are others out there, and likely better ones, but this one is for my little community and anyone who needs one!
So here we go: train your eye against AI
Every year this week, my grandmother would paint eggs by pressing leaves to them and boiling them in red onion peels. The peel gives them a beautiful burnt ochre color.
Today, I'm going shopping for red onions so I can bring that tradition back.
#folklorethursday
Because my clothing is mostly moved to the new house without me, I had to borrow a pair of guy shorts tonight, and the pockets are so big ? my phone AND wallet fit in them ?? without even poking out at the top ???
Y'all should be ashamed of this level of privilege
I went to get my laptop set up at a tech shop this morning, and I think the tech guy accidentally gave me a free therapy session that's still haunting me now.
So naturally I'm gonna tell y'all what he said
1/🧵
And he said, break anything you want. You're still worth everything.
Anyway this is the story of how I cried in the IT repair shop, tune in six months from now when I will have actually processed what the heck happened there
7/7
I'm humbled, terrified, and thrilled to announce that my beloved Whisperwood—my dark and haunted love letter to Romanian folk legends—is becoming real courtesy of the fantastic Flame Tree Press.
This moment means more than I can say, but I'll spend the next year trying. ♥️
It looks like 'blasting sensitivity readers' is on the terrible take rotation today, so:
> Sensitivity reading stops you from accidentally saying things you *never intended* to say
> If you *fully intend* to be an ass absolutely nobody will stop you
I'm gonna set aside my deep disappointment that a place so many of us loved and relied on has decided that we're expendable, and give you some practical reasons why you need to be *very* wary of the advice given in this piece.
🧵
I didn't acknowledge my birthday last year because I couldn't stand the thought of being alone and scared in a quarantine for it.
Well, this year I'm braver, and I realize I was never truly alone.
I love you all. Thank you for seeing me through another year. ❤️
He said, if someone who should have known better valued crappy stuff that's designed to break more than they valued you, that's their issue and they have to live with themselves. It's not your job to do that to yourself now they're gone.
6/
He said, I figured that was it because I grew up in a family like that, too, and I can tell when it hurts *that* bad. But you shouldn't do that.
You shouldn't ever be sad that you broke a thing. It's just a think, and you're a whole person and infinite times more precious.
5/
First of all, I did not give my permission for my book to be used in this way.
But I tell you this as an editor: Your voice is not a percentile. Don't use this garbage while you're writing unless your intention is to write garbage.
Active garbage.
I used to go out of my way to make sure nobody knew it was my birthday because I was just that damaged and incapable of accepting love.
Anyway I'm still damaged, but it's my birthday, I'm having a lovely day, I'm announcing it to the world, and the sky isn't going to fall!
PANIC
Have you ever had feedback from editors or peers where they ask you to explain or expand something, and you're frustrated because if they'd only kept reading a few more pages, you already explained exactly what they had asked for?
I have a little insight into why that happens: 🧵
Heads up babes, new scam just dropped:
"I just left a job editing for Penguin Random (only because I had to move!) and now I'm making videos to give y'all free tips!" to "here are my editorial services" pipeline.
Here's how you know you're being scammed:
Discourse aside, I'm curious how you all feel about mixed-genre works.
As an editor, I love weird combos, and soon I'l debut as a novelist with a book that's 50% fantasy, 40% horror, and 10% forestry almanac.
Do you feel cheated when your reading material plays hard to pin?
Everything is Horror. Alien is Horror. Alice in Wonderland is Horror. Existence is Horror. You are Horror. Don't limit yourself. Be your Horriest self.
Hear me out: 'draft first, edit later' is valid but not universal.
I love to edit as I write. Editing is how I think, my brain won't go if I'm just staring out the window.
Going back helps me distill what the story is really about, and that helps me figure out where it's going.
One of the classic tells I have when I'm having a very bad
#mentalhealth
day is that I feel like I look awful.
Is hard to even check a mirror on a day like that. So what am I going to do to fight it?
Post a fucking selfie.
I'm learning to fight, y'all.
If you're struggling with guilt over unread books as you buy more books, repeat after me:
🌟Books don't have expiration dates
✨More than one person can enjoy one person's library
⭐You'll still read when you're retired
💫And if you don't read them all they don't explode
I did it!!!
I can't believe how beautiful these turned out. All of them, no matter what fabric I used or what leaf. It's unbelievable that red onion peel did this.
Thank you all for the encouragement and for helping me preserve this family tradition. 💚
And happy Easter!
With a fluttering heart, I'm here to tell you that our call for submissions is live! ❤️
Open to: Women who are interested in writing modern, zany, fresh interpretations of Gothic Horror in short fiction form.
If you have any questions, drop me a line!
"It takes us between nine and twelve months to respond to submissions. We also prefer that you submit your work just to us."
And I prefer an orgy in a swimming pool full of marmalade and unicorn tears but I guess neither of us is getting what we want today are we
I have a confession to make that'll probably alienate more than half of Twitterdom, and I'm sorry in advance.
I don't... get superheroes. I haven't been able to finish a single superhero movie, series, or videogame. Not since animated Batman when I was 9. What is wrong with me?!
I love this thread because it asks a really important question: what do we actually *do* to stop giving awful people power over us?
And I can tell you one thing that will help, but you won't like it.
We stop playing the big name game. Right now.
Here's a story:
A mediocre dude pops up and anoints himself the True Supporter of poor, downtrodden indie horror. In short order, he builds up an influencer persona out of nothing but tireless self-promotion, unearned cocksure bravado, and a refusal to take no for an answer. 1/n
Let me introduce you to my childhood friend: Halva.
Coming into România through Ottoman influence, this incredibly dense brick of sunflower seeds, cocoa, and honey is one of my favorite confections. Do you have anything like it?
There are editors opening submission calls that encourage "AI"-generated text. Remember their names when you start to wonder why fewer places are open to you, an unknown writer. You, with the voice that doesn't fit predictable patterns. You, who needs to be paid for their time.
Last night, a nuclear power plant a couple hundred miles from here was attacked.
The thought of how easily we could have never woken up is running through my body like mercury, shouting at me to be grateful and do better than the selfish, narcissistic men who let it come to this.
For those of you who like to keep abreast of the news in Italy, here's a hopeful update.
For the first time since this started, today the number of deaths is half what it was yesterday, and the number of recoveries double.
Maybe there's some light.
#CoronaVirusUpdates
I've seen entitled butthats saying that if you're a member of the
#WritingCommunity
, you HAVE to follow back other writers.
Your ratio HAS to be balanced. My god, your ratio! What are you going to do about that ratio!
Ha.
It's selfish nonsense.
Be kind, have fun. The end.
You guys don't know this, but I'm currently living in THAT part of Italy.
#coronavirus
I've been in lockdown for two weeks, everything is closed. I've done the empty supermarket thing, seen the mask craze, felt cabin fever.
If you're scared or have any questions, ask me!
I realize I never really share my troubles as they're happening, so anyway the former owner of the house I just bought is still not leaving the house and is now also digging a grave in my yard.
I will not be taking questions at this time
And he looked at me and said "No."
No, don't do this to yourself. Who made you feel this sad about breaking a power cable?
I think I was already getting misty-eyed at this point.
3/
I was researching non-religious ways to say "God bless you" for a character to use, and while I've found absolutely nothing that really fits, I did stumble on this gem:
"May the bird of paradise fly up your nose".
#win
So I was just told this is apparently not normal, help me out here:
Y'all also have books you absolutely adore, but at the same time would never ever inflict on anyone you actually like. Right? We all have those?
Like they're really amazing, but would make sane people miserable?
Every time you comment on/RT a tweet, two things happen:
1. Your followers will see that tweet on their feed. They gain publicity.
2. Twitter thinks you want to see more of that person.
Ask yourself whether you want that before arguing with hateful posts. You are being used.
Here's a bit of short story writing advice I firmly believe in, that may or may not hold true for you:
Reserve an editing pass exclusively for "how can I make this more of itself".
More painful, more hopeful, more truthful. What's the story already doing? Open it up to more.
Women who write horror: I've got a little extra room in a great little spirits, specters,&haunted halls antho. Looking for one or two more shorts, think *moods* and seances, ghosts and fortunes.
Paying pro rates.
Got something good? Show me. No fuss.
submissionswoodroe
@gmail
.com
Hi, is there anyone here who absolutely *loathes* exercise and finds it painful and sickening and yet figured out ways to do it anyway?
I am specifically begginng anyone who finds it at all enjoyable or is in any way motivated to do it to abstain from giving advice on this one.
War—by which I mean the mass murder of Ukrainian people—has started.
Here in Romania, we're reading refugee centers for people who will likely never make it out in time.
I don't have the words for how goddam angry I am.
CW: shitty families
I said, I guess I grew up that way. It was always 'take more care. You break everything. You can't be trusted with anything. Everything goes to shit around you.' At one point I'd been accused of chewing the cables.
A-ny-way
4/
In an effort to plug some holes in my cinematographic knowledge, I am watching Being John Malkovich for the very first time.
And you know what?
What the actual f*ck
If you're gonna star-cast your entire anthology anyway, just do invites-only. At least be honest. Don't waste people's time, don't pretend to be open for the word of mouth and so they'll fund your kickstarter. Save their money, save them the judgmental R, just don't open.
When I was growing up, "weird" was a bad thing. It was the last thing you wanted to get called in class. Nobody would sit with you.
The older I get, the more I think "weird" and "brave" and "different" is the fuel that keeps everything moving, and I want to roll around in it.
It's very slowly sinking in that I now own a home, and the rent isn't due, and nobody is letting themselves in to check how clean I keep it or because they decided to do something to it, and nobody can kick me out, and I think renting for over a decade has me a little traumatized
I know this is gonna sound weird, but I can't wait to see some of your books when they're old, in a used book store, dented by dozens of hands, bruised and lived in.
Yesterday I saw an epic rant about how using "pet parent/mom" is demeaning, dilutes the term "mom", and offends mothers everywhere. 😂
Shout out and much love to all who think of animals as family and blessings, no matter what you call yourselves.
Show me your latest pet pics!
Great advice I just got, on letting go and avoiding an argument that would benefit nobody and only harm me:
"You think that if only you could say the right combination of words, the people in front of you will stop being shitty. And no they won't."
I'm constantly terrified of commenting on the posts of many people here because I think they're just way too cool and out of my league, so if that's ever something you feel, hi
You are not alone
Yes they are valid feelings
Yes you should do it anyway
Baby steps ♥️
Don't mind me, I'm just over here spending half an hour bracing to send the first rejection email.
This is awful, how do people do it? We should all get published, no more rejections. Urgh
You guys.
You know what makes me really happy? I finished my first
#draft
of my
#WIP
on new year's night, like I wanted. 75k
I've been so emotionally exhausted since then I didn't even have the energy to announce it!
Thank you all for being around. The
#WritingCommunity
rocks.
In case anyone's wondering just how rural 'rural Transilvania' is, I went to the post office to pick up a package and the post office lady threw in two dozen free-range eggs.
All AI can do vibes. None of them can do logic, follow-through, detail, consistency, purpose.
So the number one thing I scan for is: What's happening in this piece that doesn't make any sense? Zoom in on details.
Maybe you get lucky and there's writing. Level: easy
By the time you're thirty, you should leave your friends behind. Cause your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine
He was winding up my cables and remarking on how neat the little cable-holding velcro thing is. You know, IT shop chatter.
And I said yeah, though I'm a bit of a klutz. I know I should take better care but I break cables (and tech) a lot.
2/
I've just sold my favorite story that I can't tell you about to my favorite audio venue that I can't disclose *as well as* a dream pro magazine, and the fact that anything still moves at all with my life being as chaotic as it is is nothing short of an undeserved fortune.
This idea that you have to be "left-wing" or "right-wing" is relatively new to me.
In Romania, we grew up on "Neither a fascist nor a communist be", and I lived for 25 years assuming most of the sensible world was also trying to slowly end extremism.
Imagine my disappointment.
It's always important to moderate your social media experience, and maybe more so now, so here are a few basics that help me.
A thread on taking control of your experience🧵
I wrote something personal. Those of you who know me know what a huge deal that is 😁
It's not an easy read, but here goes:
On the odd effects of being an unwanted child of the wrong gender in a complicated family.
TL;DR: Treat your daughters like people.
This is how it went for us in the soviet bloc. We voted, then we never got to vote again until after the revolution. Most of you saw the December '89 broadcast of what we had to do to get out from under what we'd voted.
You go there, there's nobody coming to get you out.
Trump: You have to get out and vote. You won’t have to do it anymore. Four years, it will be fixed, it will be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore.. In four years, you won’t have to vote again.
It's beautiful, and profound, and you didn't write it; you could have written it, but now you'll never write it, because someone else did; a thing, an inhuman leech that fed of the best of you and became better than you, and the envy and ire you feel could fuel a submarine, and
Here is your permission slip to stop worrying about who "did it first" and just do it.
You want more stories about big boats crashing against icebergs? That's on the table. Cemeteries where the things you bury come back to life? On the table.
The table is endless, stop worrying
Now that I'm taking short story submissions, I'd just like to point out that while "Dear Editor", "Dear editing team," and "Mx Woodroe," are all valid and great, my preferred form of address for queries is definitely "Yo Aleeeeeeeeex!".
A lot of writers could benefit from being acquiring editors for a year, and a lot of editors could benefit from being querying authors for a year. We'd eliminate a solid 70% of the behavior that makes me want to scream at the screen if only we all had to experience both sides.
Before you rejoice that Neil Gaiman said not to obsess over grammar, ask yourself WHY.
His book goes into the hands of editors that cost more than my yearly rent. He can afford to focus on more important things.
Is that your case? Congratulations! You're not reading this tweet.
Mornin' everyone.
I don't think I've ever been on Twitter this early before, and I like it.
It's all so quiet and full of Brits. The last of the Americans are barely alive. Everything is so civilized.
Time for a cup of tea.
As promised, here's your next opportunity to horrify:
Submissions are now open (eight weeks and counting!) for a horror anthology of stories that represent you & your point of view.
I'm honestly disappointed.
You guys just gave five thousand comments to a guy who posted "depression isn't real".
Meanwhile real people creating real content aren't worthy of your time.
Five thousand.
I know you think arguing helps. It doesn't. He will never change his mind.
The most important point to remember is that AI does not fundamentally understand what it mimics, there's no logic or intent behind it, it's only remixing vibes.
If you look for intent, you will stumble into the lack of humanity like walking down a stair with a missing step.
I'm so excited that come June, I'll be reading your Monstrous Futures submissions.
Near future, sci-hor, 2-4k.This anthology will read like the next season of Black Mirror. If that's your vibe, a great open submission call with pro rates and fair shakes awaits.
Get ready. ❤️
Welp, welcome to my third week in quarantine! 🤪
I'm going to give you guys a full update on what's going on here, as well as what it's like being isolated for so long.
If you're not interested in hearing potentially scary stuff, I totally respect that. Don't read on.
#Covid_19
I went out to support the local baker and saw so many beautiful things!
People wearing masks, opening doors with elbows, going into stores one by one. Friends tapping toes to greet one another and chatting about who has the cooler mask.
I'm filled with hope. And pastry cream.
I realize I never see this in movies, but... We all use the bottom of our shirts to leverage open stubborn jar lids, right? That can't just be me.
... Right?
Seven days until my debut novel WHISPERWOOD lands and whew, am I getting a little tense about it.
So here's a little thread on my thoughts on the 'authorial debut' and how it helps my mental health to look beyond it. Maybe it'll help, if you're, like me, a little crushable.
🧵
As you guys know, I've been studying
#editing
and
#writing
for a while now.
Here are some of the
#tips
and tricks I've picked up in order to self-edit your books/stories to the best of your abilities, as well as more free critique & editing options to keep in mind.
1/11
It still doesn't feel real that I'm going to have a novel published. Like I know I spent two years of labor actively making this happen, but I didn't expect that to actually work
I am officially in the most beautiful place I've ever been in my life.
The hike up was painful to the point of agony, and guys... There is NOBODY here. It's just trees for hours.
I admire people who can switch themselves on every day, have something to say every day, write every day, hustle every day.
I just want us all to remember that that's not all people, and a person doesn't have less value if their journey's not jet-propelled. Love the quiet ones.